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AOL Subscribers Page
(Page optimized with small words for AOL users.)

Dear web dummy,

Thanks for being such an cute, dumb, web-tard of a sweety. We willy do wuv you so wery, wery much, you wittle wascal, you. Now give as your new credit card info, dammit!

Here's a list of pages already slated for AOL deletion due to crude, unpatriotic, forbidden images, religious sacrilage, AOL defamation, or any combination of the aformentioned.

  • AOL To Remove "AOL" From It's Own Name
  • I Use A Mac Because I'm a Lazy Bastard
  • AOL Admits 40% of Subscribers Don't Have Computers
  • Masochist Loves New Job as AOL Support Technician
  • Everyone's Pretty On The Internet
  • AOL Victims
  • It's Weird That Nobody Else is Online Tonight
  • The Top 500 AOL Screen Names
  • Christ Disappointed AOL Screen Name Already Taken
  • Iím very interested in being your friend!
  • The AOL Makeover
  • An Open Letter to AOL Stockholders
  • Hamsterdance Poised to Buy AOL Time/Warner
  • Scam Uranium Document Contains Obvious Flaws
  • "Dot-Sux" Domain A Virtual Sell-Out
  • "Father" of Internet Smiley Named in Class Action
  • Moshood Seko Mobutu Running Out of Money, Time
  • British Government Plans to Block Tobacco Websites
  • How Come the Internet Knows About My Sexual Inadequacies?
  • AOL Away Messages Used for Evil
  • Music Industry Standardizes New 9600 Baud Modem for Internet Downloads
  • AOL Technica - The Back Button
  • AOL, Microsoft Battle For Control of Mediocrity
  • AOLTV Targets Not So Bright Internet Users
  • AOL Audio Prank (Mp3 file)
  • Now forget all that nonsense and go check out all these many commercial links so we can make even yet more money off you in abject trade for our mediocre (at best) service. We're here to cervix the G-place of your web pleasure.

    Also, check out great offers and information on the latest news, broadband offers, live chat, dating, football, home based businesses, hotels discounts, kitty Porn, mortgage deals, parenting advice, online pharmaceuticals, investments, free spyware, toolbar, travel bargains, Viagra information, web hosting, and even the white slave trade.

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