AOL Makes Good Intertubes

Help Topics
-How to Disconnect
-Get 100% Refund from AOL
-Stop Billing AOL
-Cancel AOL
-Can't Check AOL Mail
-Too Much Spam
-Why AOL Bills Phones
-Telephone AOL
-Disconnect AOL
-Chat
-Free AOL Dating
-Parenting
-News
-Investments
-Toolbar
-Web Hosting
-Help


Join AOL for Broadband!

You know what the internet is and you love to surf it, so why not keep up with those God damned Jones's in your neighborhood and join the modern era?

The very best way to do it is by switching from the clunky, cumbersome, caveman ways of dial up internet service to blazing fast broadband. Here's just some of the many advantages:

  • Free broadband modem* for new subscribers.
  • Almost fast enough to keep up with the ever more demanding requirements of AOL flash and video advertisements.
  • Merely thrice the price of the poor service you've already long since enjoyed.
  • Available in over 1% of American markets, so it's perfect for almost everyone!
  • Steal music more quickly. While AOL doesn't endorse the theft of music by means of rampant MP3 sharing, our broadband service does fully support it, and we'll even help you get started.
  • Bulletproof service available no less than 15 hours each and every day, guaranteed!**
  • Ideal for streaming pornographic material, which AOL does not endorse, but does both offer and host.
  • Ability to view streaming news.
  • Free Enhanced AOL toolbar.
  • What are you waiting for, grab your credit card and sign up today! Those damned Jones's won't even know what hit 'em.


    * Modem cost is $2,300, with brief, elaborate rebates for a series of discount coupons towards premium AOL services, none of which may be redeemed prior to 2007. No cash value, many restrictions apply.
    ** Guarantee does not apply to outages, loss of service, interuptions or failure to connect to the system whether intentional, unintentional, or due to any act of God nor man.

    email this page to a friend

    Didn't find what you were looking for? Search here:


    (official breaking news)


    Search Here
    Custom Search



    Valuable Sites
  • Montana Tourism
  • Seattle CNA Training
  • Opinion/Editorial News
  • Coulee City Electrician
  • Time Warner
  • Puerto Rico News
  • Comedy Fake News
  • Pimp Central
  • Child Labor
  • 2004-2011 GlossyNews.com. All Rights Reserved.

    Site Map | America Online, Inc. | AOL International | Join AOL | Member Services | Download AOL | Disclaimer | Satire Disclaimer
    Accessibility Policy | 100% AOL Refund | Make Donation | Get Help | Piracy Policy | Unsolicited Bulk E-Mail Policy | Advertise With Us