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AOL Censorship

AOL respects the individuality and creativity of all its members… oh man, I almost kept a straight face while saying it, I'm sorry, I just couldn't do it.

No, in reality, AOL has teams of dweebs and dorks that monitor everything you try to express, whether in email, chat rooms or discussion groups, and we've empowered these zit-faced, sub-than-minimum wage* spazoids with total censorship control over everything you plop down through the outhouse of your keyboard.

What did you think; you have some "right to privacy" or "reasonable expectation of confidentiality"? Grow up! We've got an empire here, and the emperor doesn't need any rabble-rousing free thinkers spreading subterfuge amongst the populace. If you had the capacity to think for yourselves you wouldn't be here in the first place. Now get back in line and tell your friends to sign up for AOL today.

These pages are slated for deletion by AOL:

  • AOL To Remove "AOL" From It's Own Name
  • I Use A Mac Because I'm a Lazy Bastard
  • AOL Admits 40% of Subscribers Don't Have Computers
  • Masochist Loves New Job as AOL Support Technician
  • Everyone's Pretty On The Internet
  • AOL Victims
  • It's Weird That Nobody Else is Online Tonight
  • The Top 500 AOL Screen Names
  • Christ Disappointed AOL Screen Name Already Taken
  • I’m very interested in being your friend!
  • The AOL Makeover
  • An Open Letter to AOL Stockholders
  • Hamsterdance Poised to Buy AOL Time/Warner
  • Scam Uranium Document Contains Obvious Flaws
  • "Dot-Sux" Domain A Virtual Sell-Out
  • "Father" of Internet Smiley Named in Class Action
  • Moshood Seko Mobutu Running Out of Money, Time
  • British Government Plans to Block Tobacco Websites
  • How Come the Internet Knows About My Sexual Inadequacies?
  • AOL Away Messages Used for Evil
  • Music Industry Standardizes New 9600 Baud Modem for Internet Downloads
  • AOL Technica - The Back Button
  • AOL, Microsoft Battle For Control of Mediocrity
  • AOLTV Targets Not So Bright Internet Users
  • AOL Audio Prank (Mp3 file)

  • * Most of them work for discounts on AOL premium services. Not for free, mind you, just for discounts. Even still, the power really goes to their heads and we like it best that way.

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