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(Atheist stuff - Hipster stuff - Animal stuff)

The comics always show up here first. If you want to follow them and see them ad-free, this is the page to bookmark. It's not a smart page (no RSS, comments or other such fun,) but it has all of them, and with commentary you can't get anywhere else.

If the headline is a hyperlink, that means it's already run on GlossyNews.com, and you can follow the link to post comments about it, even on Facebook. Feedback is always appreciated, even the negative kind.

124 - Kids Singing Endless Road Song About to Be Amber Alerts

This is another one from the previous vein. I shot the photos myself, tried to shop in the backgrounds, with a bit less success. You can even tell that's Patrick in the driver's seat instead of me. He didn't want to be featured as a kid, so I made him be my stand-in and part-time photographer... He did pretty good on the photos. Missed a couple, but did a solid job. Good kid.

For the record, this also never happened on any of our many trips. The kids drove us crazy as hell, of course, but not with this particular ditty. At times we'd have prefered it, but they hadn't yet learned it, and we were grateful.

123 - ProTip: Cool Overly Hot Coffee by Holding it out the Window

I spent way, way too many hours on this one. I was going to manually artist it up, but after the hours I spent, I figured filters were good enough.

It's a true story, though time-shifted by 15-years. This literally happened to me. Terrible and funny as hell. Scolded the shit out of my then-girlfriend. Oh I miss you Racheal. I've always thought you didn't deserve to be burned. Ah, Portland... doesn't matter which one.

122 - Immigrants: Let's Talk About the Actual Jobs in Play

This one always bothered me. Why do wealthy republicans care who's picking the corn, cotton or beets? They're literally stealing jobs from absolutely no one, so what's it about? Is it about racism?

It's probably about racism, because the states that have enacted the strictest regulations have turned away migrant laborers by the scads, as well as a few German CEOs by the same nasty swipe... Come on guys, get the fuck real.

121 - Guys, Though Massive, Refuse Verification

Art is still recycled, but in a normal sort of rotation, as you'll find on Glossy News, you'll see these things aren't too repetitive.

Tried to vary the colors enough to make it work. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't. Should have set it up better, but the art is still pretty good.

120 - Long-Term Unemployed Go Back for Degree, Pointless

I should say that the image this batch is based on was a paid Stock Image, though I had to modify it quite a bit, and then cartoonize it that much more to make it work.

I brought them closer together, redrew the outlines and highlights, changed colors quite a bit and added all new faces. I paid for the underlying picture, but even if I hadn't you'd be hard pressed to know it.

119 - If Your Girl Feels Down, Make Her Feel Important

The art is recyled from yesterday, but the theme is recycled from time untold in the history of man.

I did take the extra time to make sure he was staring down on her (presumably awesome?) rack, which is par for the guy course... It's just what we do.

118 - Men Admit the Number One Thing They Love in Women

Come on guys, we've all been there. Don't be shy. Maybe you had the wisdom or exhaustion to keep your mouth shut, but if they could really read your mind (as those damn sirens swear they can,) you'd be doomed.

I'm not happy with the eyes (even though you'll see more of them,) but I'm happy with the rest of it. Plenty of effort went into it. Art is at least a 6/10, and I'm a critic.

117 - I Judge You By Your Ignorant Font Choice

Based in fact, wholly. Saw this sign while driving with my best friend and tech dawg J-Drizzle. We shared a laugh about it. That was over a decade ago, but I still keep seeing the same signs... um, what?

As a one-off comic, this one got an awful lot of hours for what it was. Only two frames repeat, plus a massive effort frame to start it. Too much work for such a weak joke.

116 - This is 'Merica... Speak English!

The runaway (tacitly racist) patriotism sickens me. They don't care about people, they care about whiteness. States that have driven out minorities have suffered, and well they should; to hell with them.

But whenever we start talking about our true founding fathers, we have to include all of them.

This is the first I've done in this minimalist style. I kinda like it. Got part way through and was like "wow, that looks pretty striking just like that." Might do more of it.

115 - Study: Indoor Cats Also Present Owners w/ Gifts

Yeah, just more cat stuff. Nothing really to say about it. I regret putting an orange patch by the left cat's nose, I regret not removing fur lines from the insides of the mouths.

You'll almost surely never see this pair again.

114 - Artist Refuses to Admit Art is Terrible

This is my second attempt with backgrounds other than the standard, and it was a ton of work to come out with something I still think is so-so at best.

At this point I'm getting pretty sick of the cats, but I'll do one more, even though I have more written for cats after that.

113 - Scientific Study Proves Cats Have No Sense of Humor

My first attempt at using a background other than a gradient or solid color... not great. Not bad, but not as good as it looked in my head.

Still recycled art, but for some reason, this time I forgot the damn eyebrows. Still works without them, but annoying to me.

112 - Specialty Cats Bred Exclusively to be Creepy

Just trying to channel the inner monologue of cats. Maybe it's not so sinister, but probably it is.

If you've never had a conversation with a cat (be honest) you don't know what they're thinking.

111 - Feline Study Finds Lasers Effective for Hair Removal

Laser hair removal? Yeah, for your cat, just shine the pointer right there and they'll chew the hell out of it.

And yes, to be clear, that's my best take on Grumpy Cat on the right.

110 - Cat-Rehab Clinics Sprouting Up Around the Nation

So then I took it a bit further. What are cats really like? They're not human but they can still have human characteristics.

Recycled art with just a few changes.

109 - Happy 4th of July, Especially if you're a cat

I wanted to do something special for the 4th of July and I figured dogs hate it, so cats must love that.

The art is pretty bad, I can admit that. You might recognize my inspiration for the guy on the right.

108 - You know what's great about being a dog?

This was actually the first dog cartoon I wrote from the new batch, though the last I made. The shifting font size was a cramp in my ass, so I put it off as long as I could.

No more dogs for a while, I promise. ;p

107 - Dogs... sometimes they just HAVE TO ruin the house

Same recycled art. New colors, new eyebrows, new mouths, blah blah blah.

Basically I just tried to channel what dogs think and feel, and sometimes they just feel like destroying a house.

106 - Why don't dogs get to vote?

This time I added some facial expression to the yellow dog, though to almost zero effect. Tried to make my dogs political, but without much success.

At this point I realize I should create a new sub-page just for dogs, since I've got something like 15 at this point.

105 - Some dogs, shamefully, actually LIKE cats

Same art from before, but now it dawns on me that they look more like humans in ill-fitting suits.

All these dog cartoons are using a new font, and I'm not 100% convinced by it. It's about as hard to read as the previous one, so I'm still not sure what I'm going to do.

104 - What happens when a dog escapes from the yard?

Same art, better execution. All new eyebrows, but 100% custom mouths on the gray dog, and what a difference it makes.

But other than that, ya know, dogs... amirite?

103 - Dog savagely kills a plush rabbit

Same situation, all new dogs. Once again the gray one looks great, the other one not quite as much.

Didn't vary the mouths on this one, an oversight, and didn't even fill them all in... I'll fix it on the next one.

102 - Some dogs are more PC than others

Basically I have this huge master-document of potential ideas, and they fall into categories. I finally had enough dog stories to make it happen, so there you go.

Although I still had a bunch more dog comics, I gave up on this template after this one, and the next one is... well let's just say "better", for conversational purposes.

101 - Dogs are referred to in the gender neutral "it"

Yep, same art again. New eyebrows and background colors, but that's about it. Pretty sad about that.

Though I guess I'll do one more in the same template.


A | to | W | X | Y | Z
(Atheist stuff - Hipster stuff - Animal stuff)

ABOUT - This is a sometimes webcomic about, you know, kind of whatever. There's no set format (yet), so whatever is funny goes to print. I've only been doing webcomics since the last week of March, 2013, so it's not all that refined just yet. Don't worry, I'm working on it.

If the title of a comic is a hyperlink, that means it's live on GlossyNews.com, and you can go there to post your comments about it. You won't, but it's still an option. Just looking out for you.


How do you make your comics?
Badly, if at all. I do layer upon layer in PhotoShop Elements, which I got free with a pen tablet. I'll get Adobe Illustrator soon enough, just don't have the budget for it just yet, or the capacity to figger it out.

Where did you learn your mad skillz?
Mostly nowhere, but I lean pretty heavily on photographs, then try to replicate them... badly. I've learned a lot from a decade of using Photoshop at various jobs, which helps streamline the process. I like to look at existing art and photos and sketch it out from there, though it doesn't always work the way I'd like.

Where do you draw your inspiration?
Only from the best. The Far Side, xkcd, explosm, the Atheist Pig and too many more to mention.

Come on, who actually asks these questions?
Nobody yet. Just trying to stay ahead of the curve.

Use the contact form on Glossy News.