Account Verification Failed
I'm sorry, but one or more of your questions did not match what we have on file.
If you are over 18, please consider taking two or three dozen naked selfies and sending them to the administrator of this site for validation.
It will not in any way help you with regaining access to your account, but it will help ease the pain of a poorly paid job.
In the end, isn't that what we all want?
More specifically, in your assorted ends, wouldn't that be sexy as hell? It sure would be for me. I'm an intern, I can't even put this embarrassing BS on my resume.