KidZone
Muppet Agenda Leads to Loose Jell-O Complacence
First we had to deal with the Diaper Industrial Complex, then the Hardline Pro-Potty Training Movement. Now I have to deal with the Muppet Agenda and the influence it has on people around me. It's bad enough they teach kids that a pig stalking a frog is "kind of cute" but now they're attacking our table manners.
Oct 14, 2007, 15:32
Simpson's Movie Review, It's D'oh-Liteful!
The Simpson's Movie had been hyped for years, expected for decades-ish and had expectations it couldn't possibly be expected to live up to. This year saw the face-first flop of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force film, which died of its own accord from a combination of factors as plain as the nose on my face, sometimes stolen by my prankster brother.
Aug 2, 2007, 15:52
Juleaster Fireworks Beautifully Terrifying
I knew my day wasn't done when I rubbed my eyes back open from my prolonged late afternoon nap. I slept well after the first half of my candied day and didn't even wake up with a killer candy hangover as expected. With the sweets and bunnies behind me it was time for the barbecue half of my day.
Jul 4, 2007, 19:56
Four Chun Cookies Warn About Fashion, Bees
In case you've never been to a Chinese restaurant there's something you should know about them, and it's that they give away totally free cookies at the end. They aren't normal cookies because they're really fragile and crunchy, but also because these particular cookies have messages inside of them. They're called "Chun" cookies, and sometimes, if you're really lucky, you get four of them.
Jun 18, 2007, 20:35
Tuesday Shroved Promo Pancakes for Charity
Everyone I know hates Mondays, but Tuesdays we could take or leave. They're no Fridays and they certainly aren't Sundays, so if it has to be a Tuesday, which it does more than 14% of the time, something pretty special has to happen, and IHOP has done it for us once again.
Feb 21, 2007, 11:00
Global Warming Theory Defeated by Poor Naming Policy
I'm no scientist of atmospheric or any other sort of ilk, but I do know what I see and experience myself, as well as what I hear and research on my own. This whole "Global Warming" theory, I'm certain, is a total myth. "Climate Change", on the other hand, appears as frighteningly real as it does unpredictably uncertain.
Feb 8, 2007, 08:14
Karting Accident Helps Drivers Practice Hand Gestures
It started off as a day like so many others. We went to the store to do our shopping, hopped in a couple of the myriad kiddo-carts available for shopping, and went on about our business of unfairly requesting what items for sale we wanted as we saw fit. But before we could ask why our steering wheels don't actually steer anything, we found ourselves fender to fender with another cart.
Jan 13, 2007, 06:45
Eager-Beaver Brother Usurps Pee Throne
 |
| Ever feel like your personal bubble`s maybe being crowded just a little? |
I’ve been a student of the urinary arts for about a year now and I have to say I’m getting pretty good at it. I’m not perfect, I’ll admit that much, but if I’ve learned one thing from my Mr. Daddy-O it’s that my time on my throne should be my own. This newcomer to the sport doesn’t get it, the baby keeps pushing me off the chair and it just isn’t right.
Dec 9, 2006, 17:25
Boy Caught Playing Dolls Faces Life of Embarrassment
 |
| I guess all I can hope for is that I'll be as handsome as this dolly-playing man when I grow up. |
It was a day unlike any other in the life of the illustriously famous junior journalist Brendan Alexander. He woke, he rose, he saw toys and he played with them. The only difference was the toy nearest on this day was a dolly, and the boy in question happened to be me; so now I’m apparently doomed to a life of peculiar awkwardness.
Nov 21, 2006, 16:13
Luncheon Degrades to Blame-Game, Popcorn Feast
 |
| Popcorn... yum! |
Man oh man oh Manitoba, what painfully little good can ever come from a work luncheon? We productive types around the Perplexing office gathered for a brainstorm session, but ultimately little was accomplished save for the consumption en masse of the very popcorn meant to keep us happy.
Aug 10, 2006, 23:16
Resurrection Rabbit Masterminds Insulin Pandemic
 |
| Have you seen this bad bunny? 10000 carrot reward |
News spread yesterday of a kindly though mentally askew "Easter Rabbit" spreading joy, happiness and eggs throughout the Christian world at random. Late breaking developments uncovered the sinister truth behind the tainted loot.
Apr 16, 2006, 23:24
|
