KidZone
Muppet Agenda Leads to Loose Jell-O Complacency
First we had to deal with the Diaper Industrial Complex, then the Hardline Pro-Potty Training Movement. Now I have to deal with the Muppet Agenda and the influence it has on people around me. It's bad enough they teach kids that a pig stalking a frog is "kind of cute" but now they're attacking our table manners. That's where I draw the line.
Jul 26, 2009, 06:13
Puerto Rico Children's Museum No Place for Kids
We took a trip to San Juan, Puerto Rico last week and we saw a bunch of newsworthy things that really rocked the boat of our ability to take the cake. We'll cover all of them in uncomfortable detail in coming weeks, but first I have to point out the horrible travesty on child-named attractions that is the Puerto Rico Children's Museum. All I can say is that it's no place for kids.
Jul 2, 2009, 06:31
Kid Witness to Cake Theft Crawls Forward w/ Testimony
Last week an incident took place in our home that alarmed everyone and not just because it hit so close to home that it was in our own kitchen, right on our own countertop, but it was really bad because it was thievery, and it happened, and somebody did it, and we couldn't figure out who. Finally, a witness has stepped forward in the case that may blow the whole thing wide open.
May 29, 2009, 02:59
12yo Boy "Not Father" According Reason, Fact
Alfie McScrunt, the boy who was reported to have fathered a child when he was 12 years old, is not the baby's father, DNA tests have shown. Alfie, now 13, of Smegmadale�s Sink or Swim Housing Estate, told the �underage sex� columnist from the Cormorant Strangler�s Gazette that he was �dead chuffed� (Chav-speak for �proud�) he�d got his 15-year-old girlfriend �up the tub� (further Chav-speak for 'preggers�).
May 28, 2009, 00:29
New Mensa Member Still in Diapers
A two-year-old girl who can name 35 of the US� Bush administration�s war criminals and identify a dozen flavours of Pol Pot Insta-Noodles has become the youngest member to join the high IQ society Mensa. Pedantica van der Pratt, from Smegmadale-on-Sea, has an IQ of 156 and can recite the Labour Party manifesto, count to 15 in Serbo-Croat and name twenty-five types of credit card.
May 7, 2009, 03:01
New UK Classroom Powers to be Invoked
Troops on leave in the UK from tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan should be deployed to support teachers dealing with bad behaviour in the classrooms, according to a report by the Asbo Gazette on discipline in schools. The study by the government's bad behaviour mandarin Lord Peter Scandalson says school leaders do not make enough use of powers to deal with problem pupils...
May 2, 2009, 01:45
Crush on Dora of Explorer Fame Finally Reality
Like any good American, I watch an inordinate, almost embarrassing amount of television. Personally, I'm partial to cartoons and shows involving adults dressed as oversized animals, typically dancing around while pretending to teach some lesson or other, but what I'm most partial to is that most alluring of child-centric starlets, Dora the Explorer.
Apr 15, 2009, 06:31
US Fathers Pledge to Model Obama: Promise Kids Puppy If Elected President
Taking up the difficult charge requested of the nation's newest president, fathers around the country have stepped up to make difficult choices and keep hope alive in the next generation. Many are doing by emulating the exact behavior of Barack Obama and promising their dog demanding children that they too can have a puppy� you know, when dad gets elected president.
Jan 21, 2009, 06:05
When Satire is News: Montana With Kids Site Delivers Groundbreaking Twist
Every year it seems more and more writers seem to think they're going to find a toe-hold in wicked satire game. I say wicked because, as a highly successful failure myself, I can tell you just about everything you might want to know about being successful, being a failure, and even being a successful failure. But every now and again there comes a site that actually beats expectations and does something so refreshing it deserves mention.
Jan 7, 2009, 10:01
Seabrook Vacation Helps Us Get Away, Relax, Dream
Life can be stressful sometimes, and we know it as well as anybody. Our preschool, kindergarten and 4th grade lives are hectic. We've got homework that goes even beyond tracing letters and counting numbers, plus we have to play a bunch, plus we run one of the biggest syndicated parenting advices columns of the century. Sometimes we just need a few days to ourselves, and Seabrook is just what the doctor ordered.
Dec 10, 2008, 03:47
Seattle�s Halloween Train Chuggas Its Choo-Choo on Horizon
It�s that time of year once again. Of all the seasons in all the months, I reluctantly admit (to you only, not to my family) that Halloween is my favorite, and there�s no better way to enjoy it than with a clever costume, trick-or-treating amongst generous adults, and by riding the fun-tastic rails of the Halloween Train offered up by the Northwest Railway Museum in Snoqualmie, Washington.
Oct 24, 2008, 00:13
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