In a surprising, last minute bid, this week Amazing X-10 Camera Corp of Modesto California announced the success of their $84 Billion cash deal to acquire Yahoo.com.
"We didn't know we were for sale," said James Robertson of Yahoo, "But apparently they bought all of our outstanding debt and called it due. [We] didn't really have a choice in the matter."
"Maybe they would have seen us coming if they had bought our amazing X-10 camera, perfect for home and business surveillance," said Giovanni Gandolfini at the press conference while ushers handed out glossy fliers. "All we had to do was buy up their debt at eight times face value and there you go."
Gandolfini will become the first official Yahoo representative who is entirely plated in 18k gold. Their CEO, "Big Slick" Evan will be the first fortune 500 director with entirely diamond teeth.
"It was more than modest folk like us wished to spend," said Gandolfini, "Because we'll now dip to around $18 Trillion in cash reserves, but I guess we can hold off on buying Panama until 2003."
Negotiations become hostile when a last minute bidder drove the price from $36 Billion to the final of $84 Billion. "It was very frustrating," explained X-10 representatives, "Those damn cock enlarger guys came in at the last minute and bid it through the roof. Not only are they shrewd, powerful and cash-ready negotiators, but you should see the cocks on them too. You could if you had our amazing X-10 camera. There were several hidden cleverly under the boardroom table. Very intimidating."
Yahoo intends to alter it's search engine by year end so X-10 comes up first whether searching for linen or apricots. Currently, it only ranks in the top ten.
