Citizens join the boycott by picketing with signs reading Meat is Murder, No Blood for Oil, and curiously, Vote Dukakis.
Citizens for Less Insulting Advertising (CLIA) have organized a worldwide boycott of Vanilla Coke following the carpet-bumbling campaign of the Mafia-inspired "Smooth and Intriguing" advertisements.
"We haven't been this insulted by mass advertising since McDonalds "I'm Lovin' It" campaign, which only beckoned a resounding 'No the f*ck I don't' from us," tells Aloc Ispep, spokesman for the group. "Like we're so stupid we're going to drink it just because fake mobsters are forcing pseudo-cultural icons to almost pretend they like it?"
The ads feature flash-in-the-pan pop icons like Missy Elliot, that Simon guy from American Idol, and a bunch of other unrecognizables talking about Vanilla Coke when they are suddenly forced to endorse it, presumably because they wouldn't otherwise.
Coke organizers stand fast on their commitment to force everyone to try and like Vanilla Coke.
"From the 20s to the 70s people know not to mess with the mob," says Coca Cola. Today it's corporate America people need to fear, and they don't know that. Whether people drink a drop of this repugnant concoction or not they need to understand that crossing a Fortune 500 company can end with cement galoshes."
Meanwhile, despite the narrow-spread boycott, Vanilla Coke sales have skyrocketed over the past month however, public opinion of Coca Cola Corporation has fallen 1% to a respectable 4%.
In other news which is totally unrelated, both Simon Cowell and Missy Elliot have been missing since Tuesday and are presumed dead by authorities who are too terrified to investigate. The Chief-of-Police, who wishes to remain anonymous, insists, "They are probably just swimming," and suggested off-the-record that we shouldn't be asking about things that aren't our business.
