Maybe if the prick would shut his friggin' mouth for once, he'd actually hear what the real doctors have to say.
“Yea, verily, come upon me and heal my busted-ass ankle!” yelled out Terrell Owens at a Philadelphia Methodist church. “Walk beside me and heal my bones! Knit together my tendons like only You can, Lord! Yea!” Owens, the Philadelphia Eagles’ standout wide-receiver, suffered a severe ankle sprain and broken leg during a December 19th game against Dallas when he was pulled down from behind. After having two screws and a metal plate inserted into his leg on December 22nd, Owens has turned to faith-healing to get himself mended before the commencement of the Super Bowl on February 6th, in Jacksonville, Florida.
Owens has been eschewing standard rehab at the team’s NovaCare Complex for faith-healing, which he believes will heal him in the six and a half weeks necessary to play in the Super Bowl, as opposed to the eight to ten weeks of rehab prescribed by “traditional” medical doctors. He is often seen walking around the pool where he is supposed to be exercising, waving his arms skyward and yelling, “Yea, come upon me, oh Lord! Let your blessed countenance settle upon mine busted-ass ankle and heal it like only You can! Forgive these wretched heathens with whom I must surround myself who do not believe in the healing power of Faith!”
Dr. Mark Myerson, the man who did the screwing and plate insertion into Owens’ leg, said, “I can understand perfectly. For that reason, it’s a dilemma for him and for me. I have to do what’s right for the patient, regardless of the circumstances that are taking place right now. He is caught up in the excitement and the heat of the moment. Everybody wants him to be able to play, but in the long run, it’s not going to benefit him.” Myerson insists that Owens’ continue traditional rehab, specifically, spending time running in the pool to strengthen the repairs that he made to the leg.
To be fair, Owens’ has spent a little time in the pool, but Myerson states, “He is vastly improved, but he has not healed sufficiently enough that I can give him a full release. There’s no instability of the ankle, but he does not have full healing.”
Owens responded with faith. “What a lot of people don’t realize is, I have been doing a lot of rehab on my own, healing on my own,” he said, as he picked up a nearby incense burner. “Spiritually, God is healing me, and I am way ahead of what a lot of people expected me to be – even the doctor. He is even shocked at what he has seen the times I have gone back there to do my post-op. Spiritually I have been healed and I believe I will be out on the field [for the Super Bowl] regardless of what anybody else says. They can’t deny the Man above.”
Apparently, they really can’t deny the Man above, because Philadelphia head trainer Rick Burkholder and team physicians Peter DeLuca and Paul Marchetto are set to give Owens the green light to play again, some three and a half weeks short of the recommended healing and recuperation time. At this time, it is unknown whether or not the Eagles’ want to bother even putting up with Owens’ faith-healing attitude, as in the last two post-season games they have proven that they could put up just as many points without him (27) as they could with him.
“Yea, verily, let mine ankle be blessed and mine tendons healed!” shouted Owens when asked for comment. We can only surmise from that outburst that he intends to continue with his ridiculous faith-healing project and go about further busting up his unhealed ankle during the Super Bowl. We look forward to watching.
Terrell Owens said, "God has already cleared me to play in the Super Bowl." I guess the rest of us will just have to wait to see if he really got an "okay" from the big trainer in the sky.
