Dapper Gators coach Billy Donovan is now sporting a very new look that will soon be made public. The reason? The Florida Redneck White Trash Association (FRWTA), a little known but powerful organization based out of a rundown shack in central Florida, decided they did not like Donovan’s pinstriped corporate executive style and that a change was overdue.
“He don’t represent us like he should” said Cletus Buford, president of the Association in an exclusive interview. “He’s been in Florida fer a long time now and he STILL looks like some New York EXECUTIVE! Look at them fancy shoes with them little tassels on ‘em! Folks where we come from don’t even WEAR shoes! And those city boy suits! He’s been here long enough. It’s time fer him to look like he belongs here! Too high ‘n mighty!”
The group has powerful ties with Florida’s politicians, and the Gators management did not say anything when a meeting was arranged with Donovan. Threats of boycotts and protests remain unsubstantiated. The stunned coach left the meeting with the association in their trailer with a list indicating a new dress code that they assume he will follow. Donovan refused interviews, but Buford confirmed later that he has personally divested the coach of a pair of Gucci loafers and a Hermes necktie at the height of a contentious discussion.
A spokesman for the Gators, who wished to remain anonymous, issued a statement: “We will do everything we can to make sure that the Florida Redneck White Trash Association is happy with Coach Donovan’s new look. He has agreed not to wear shoes and to remain barefoot at all games from now on. He has agreed that he will never again wear a suit or a necktie at a game or associated event. He has agreed to wear overalls with the FRWTA logo on them. He has agree to repace his current haircut with a mullet, and to stop shaving on a daily basis. He has also agreed to undergo an intensive redneck language course and to legally change his name to ‘Billy Ray’.”
So the coach who is known for his high class clothes is trading his $2,000 Italian business suits, cufflinks, starched shirts and silk ties for overalls. In addition, he is stepping out of his $1,000 Gucci loafers and Brooks Brothers socks and will coach in his bare feet from now on. The process of "bubbaizing" Donovan will take several weeks but is well under way.
What will that mean for the Gators from now on? Will Donovan’s record as a coach also “go south” along with his Armani suits? Will fans and players respect a shoeless, bearded, trailer trash Donovan as they did when he dressed like a dignified stockbroker?
And will this start a trend among basketball coaches, known for their expensive suits? Just when football coaches are starting to question their own laid-back look, maybe they are trading places?
As for Donovan: the FRWTA auctioned off all of his business clothes yesterday.
