Above: Members of Canadian Congress address the public in front of what they call their "Hoose of Congress".
Canadia's Prime Minister has fired his minister of finance. After nine years of service, he was quietly and conveniently given the ax for reasons unbeknownst to himself, the cabinet and apparently also the Prime Minister who offered only "I'm not sure what him leaving is all aboot, eh?"
Kanucks were shocked at the actions of their Prime Minister when he pulled traditional political post-traumatic double-talk, diversion and avoidance. During his tenure, the minister of finance was credited with the Canadian dollar losing about 40% of it's total value, then regaining it, and then kind of just holding it's own. The Prime Minister of course, still had a rare opportunity to lie and make all kinds of wonderful extravagant excuses.
Canadian pride, Canadian booty...how do they get so tan?
Subject to this terrible and shocking news tremendous chaos was expected in financial markets. That day the dollar of Canadia fell sharply, rose and closed unchanged. Analysts on Wall Street were prepared for anything but evidently not this.
"I don't have time for this right now." said Peter Walsh from Merrill Lynch. "Yeah? So?" said Frank Hollowell from Morgan Stanley/Dean Witter "Corky Romano flopped too, what's it [supposed to mean] to the market?"
Canadia reportedly felt renewed importance for a few minutes though "Being in the news again, eh?" but added, "Stop calling us Canadia, eh? My mom moved to the states and has had nothing but disrespect even though she played well for the New York Islanders." Passers by were heard mumbling sentiments like "Kanuckia, whatever pal." And "Go slap some puck ya Molsen slurping cheese-head."
