I stumbled on your website, and found your article on his holiness John Paul II.
I did my best to give you the benefit of the doubt, and allow you to try some humor or express your disdain in a coherent constructive way.
Really, all I could find was pointless isults [sic].
The humor in the article was about as brainy as a 5th grader. Actually, I should extend my apologies to all the 5th. graders. It didn’t even measure up to that.
Also, it was a feeble attempt to take advantage of the current hysteria regarding abuses by priests. Any fair minded person knows this [is] simply the latest lottery scheme with great odds. True, some abuses have occurred, but many more false accusations I’m sure. Of course, that truth would destroy your party so I have no doubt you will ignore or discredit it.
Sad, that you are so miserable as to find need to attack one of the greatest figures of our time. Obviously, doing good offends you somehow.
Shouldn’t you consider being an adult at some point on your life?
Um, wow man, ya Catholic much? I'm a fair guy (though not the author), so I'll try you out on your points. Okay with you?
I'm sad you didn't find the humor and/or disdain to be either constructive or coherent. The article is actually still growing in popularity, much like Mormonism, but unlike Catholicism. You follow so far?
I really enjoyed the irony how you stated the article was as brainy as a 5th graders, but you didn't spell check your own letter. Kudos my man, you clearly have the firmest grasp of satire now. And referring to the defender of kiddy-rapers world over as "his holiness"? A hoot.
You say "lottery" as if to imply astronomically slim odds. Alright, let's cut to the meat of the potatoes. Great Republic used to be the third party administrator for the Catholic Church of north America. My girlfriend was one of their case managers. That means that every medical claim that ever went through for any priest or nun insured by the church, went across her desk. Out of all the organizations represented by GR, the preists had 4 times higher instance of HIV than anyone... rampant, if you will.
You tell me, Bob, how the fuck do a batch of celibate men get HIV? Was there a mass blood transfusion the church required? Or is it possible that Catholicism is a hotbed for sodomy? It's not likely to needle drug use.
That's ancient history though, right? Let's talk current events. The church continues to suppress information regarding abuses. The church continues to turn a blind eye. Either you fight it, or you support it... I guess we know where you stand, don't we Bob?
Being an adult in my life, standing up for what is right,
The Editor
In reference to Papal Problems at O'Hare, from our archives.
Its [sic] sad that you would acually [sic] publish this on your page.
In this piece of shit world, what do we really have left. The wonder of love, self worth and religion. No need to fuck with the few things that people hold sacred. Im [sic] the first to laugh at a good joke, but hte [sic] "cock ring" and the profane language part regarding the pope was a little too far. Foget that hes [sic] a pope, he [is] a frail old man who can stand up for himself -
sad.............
newsgroupcrap@rogers.com
(Authors Response)
I wish to premise my response by first noting that I am a reputable reporter to the highest degree. My facts come under the most severe scrutiny before I commit anything to print. Having said that, I wish to make several points.
Well, well, well. It seems that when God handed out senses of humor, someone was still in line for popcorn.
Why do you assume the Pope does not really have a cock ring? Have you ever been under that robe of his? A friend of a friend of mine assures me that he has everything but the kitchen sink under there, which is handy, I suppose, because he does a lot of traveling. Where's the commandment that says 'Thou shalt not wear a cock ring'? Granted, I slept through most of Sunday School but I'm sure those words would've woke me up.
As far as the Pope's To read the editor's response to this, potty mouth is concerned, a friend of a friend of mine (but not a friend of the first friend mentioned) assures me that the Pope could easily be mistaken for a sailor on a weekend leave, especially on his Sunday night bowlig league. According to the friend of a friend of mine, and I quote... "You'd think the Pope would throw perfect games all the time, but he can't pick up a spare to save his soul. I haven't heard someone curse so bad since my grandmother got her girdle stuck in the escalator at Sears."
I'm a bowler myself, so I can understand the Pope's frustration. If he's anything like me, the only reason he bowls in the first place is for the beer and pretzels.
But not that I'm in any position to judge the Pope. Remind me again where in the Good Book it says 'Thou shalt not spew heathen-like words except for extreme circumstances, like Notre Dame games"?
And those two boys under his robe? He really was trying to rescue them from French Protestantism, a worthy cause I'm sure you'll agree. The Pope will never lie.
So, you see, all of the Pope's actions are 100% Christian. His title of God on Earth is safe and sound, at least until next season's American Idol is crowned.
You Catholics are too much. Coming off high and mighty with your obscene language and your staunch support of rapists and pedophiles... amazing, truly priceless.
If he is frail and can not stand up for himself, should he be leading your people? If he can't stand up for himself, how can he stand up for what is right for millions of his followers? How can he stand up for the children. Now let's talk about 30 years ago when things were largely as they are today... That's when many of the crimes were committed.
You guys talk about these stories as if the Catholic church is innocent. As if the spectrum of accusations was improbable, or even unlikely. What might a man have to gain from coming forth about abuses thirty years after the crime was done? Not for legal damage, not for fame, not for popularity or sympathy. All it earns the victims at that point is embarrassment and the hope that no more should have to suffer as they have.
The Catholic church is an easy target because it is so entrenched in it's own dogma, as are so many of it's followers. When these stories hit the news, you can laugh them off or take them as gospel. Clearly you won't do either. Consider that.
