Photo has been scaled to accurately represent penis size.
Rob Cesternino has long been famous as a man with a very, very small cock. Now, thanks to his outrageously successful seminar groups, you too can say goodbye forever to pumps, patches, creams and pills.
"I've got a small dick, there's no denying it," said Rob from the comfort of his Mercer Island Washington home. "But that doesn't have to stop me from being a total dick."
While most companies promoting male security offer to increase the size of a man's penis, Rob's group does it a little differently. "From my own experience I can tell you that some male genitalia are just too small to work with. That doesn't mean I can't cope with it. Why should I suffer when I can make everyone around me suffer instead?"
While skeptics have been vocal, his pupils have eagerly sung a different tune. Albert Barton, Protective Services International CFO tells us, "I was miserable, insecure, and an all around insensitive little man. Then I found Rob Cesternino, who told us how he's the exact same way. Today I can scream, shout and swear, and no one even has the time to consider how small my dick must be.
Sign here you [expletive] [expletive] [expletive]. Do it NOW!
"It's not about having a big wiener like Angelo from Blind Date, or an exceptionally small one, such as mine. It's about making up for lost time, lost opportunities and lost inches," tells Rob. "Screaming at strangers and bullying subordinate co-workers is just the beginning. When a woman tells me I'm inadequate, I act surprised and tell her that her vagina must be cavernous or her mouth [is] too big. I can support a lie like that because clearly if that stupid [expletive] is saying it, she's got a big mouth, right?"
From his humble day job as a security guard to his illustrious night job guarding the security of all men, it's clear Rob is a real winner.
If you struggle from short man (in-the-pants) syndrome, help has finally arrived. A free, informative seminar will be held this Sunday at 3:00pm at the Seattle Sheraton Hotel. Seating is limited, but for sufferers, the potential is not.
