The Art of Skittlebrau

Technnologizzy
The Art of Skittlebrau
By The CrazyEngineer
Jul 30, 2007, 08:25

The Skittlebrau lab is prepared for a battery of experiments.

As with most crazy ideas, the Simpsons thought of it first:
Homer: "I'm feelin' low, Apu. You got any of that beer that has candy floating in it, you know, Skittlebrau?"

Apu: "Such a product does not exist, sir! You must have dreamed it."

Homer: "Oh. Well then just gimme a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles."

And so with that, the Skittlebrau project was born. My years of drinking training had led up to this moment, the first scientific Skittlebrau investigation. I realized that for such a daring experiment, I would have to do the drink tasting myself. Crazy you say? Crazy like a fox.

I had selected a wide variety of brew to mix with the Skittles, from wussy-man malt beverages to dark beer. The resulting drinks were judged not only on taste, but also on appearance post-skittle induction. They would also be tasted immediately, and then allowed to sit for a few minutes so the skittles could dissolve.

Skoors Light

What a nice, frosty looking beer, but what is that colored stuff on the bottom of the mug?

Coors Light is a relatively decent light beer, definitely needed to be served cold. This was the first Skittle brew we tried, and the initial results were somewhat disappointing. There wasn't much of a reaction between the Skittles and the beer.

The first taste was undiscernable from un-adulterated Coors. However, within minutes, the color coating of the Skittles had dissolved off, giving the beer a deeper color from its normal paleness. But as the beer drained down, the Skittle taste really started to kick in, and that's not a good thing. Part of the problem is that Coors Light really doesn't taste much like anything, so the Skittles quickly became the only taste in the beer. And that last swig is a real face twister.

The interesting thing is what's left at the bottom of the glass, little white pebbles (because the cold beer froze the skittles). Hard and crunchy, and they wipe that beer aftertaste away.

Bacardi Skilver

No, the Bacardi Silver didn't come out of the bottle looking like that (but I don't blame you for thinking so).

Bacardi Silver it turns out is actually one of the nastier malt beverages I have ever tasted. So, it couldn't be much worse with Skittles. Dropping the Skittles into the drink caused a mountain a fizz from the repulsive drink.

The taste is hard to describe. I think it's an actual improvement over the normal taste. The strange thing is it almost tastes like margarita mix. The color matches up pretty well with whatever Skittle you put in. So either do red/purple or the green/yellow/orange to get a nice glow (putting them all in just makes it look brown). Probably the worst part is the floating white pieces of Skittle at the top of the drink.

Skitrona

That's not pink lemonade...it's not guava juice, either.

Citrona isn't actually half bad. The only downside to it is that it's fairly cloudy. But with some Skittles, it becomes a cornucopia of color. Skittle induction reaction was minimal, and the color quickly spread throughout the drink.

Strangely enough, the Skittles really didn't have any effect on the taste, so perhaps Citrona is made from Skittles. A very unimpressive showing.

Old Skilwaukee

That head on the beer appeared AFTER the skittles went in.

"Don't do it!!!"

"For science!!!" GLUG GLUG GLUG

"Dear God, what have I done? I have dabbled in things man was not meant to."

Folks, this one is pretty bad. Not that Old Milwaukee is that great to begin with (I believe "ass" is the term most commonly used), but Skittles just make it downright foul. The Skittles dissolve very fast, so almost immediately you have a massive influx of sugar into the mixture. The early sips are bad, but it gets worse the longer you put off drinking it.

Chug it down, move on to the last one.

Skittlebrau

Mmmm, what a nice looking beer that is.

The one, the only, the original, Skittlebrau.

I personally am not a big dark beer fan. But the Crazy Engineer household would be remiss if we didn't try the actual Skittlebrau.

Eurkea!

This isn't half bad.

The sugar cuts the bitter beer taste and and leaves you with a mellow sweetness that isn't bad drinking. Now, letting it sit for 30 minutes isn't advised, but some leisurely drinking is okay. There is a slight odd aftertaste, but no odder than other beers with Skittles.

The neat thing, and a sign of good Skittlebrau, is that there should be more foam after you put the Skittles in. Now, usually we view foam as a bad thing in beer, and rapid foaming is very bad, but here a slow growth in foam is a sign that the Skittles are reacting well with the beer so you'll soon have a tasty beverage.

Conclusions

And the surprise at the bottom. This photo came out a LOT more clearly than what I was seeing...

Skittlebrauology is a new science, but it certainly shows an intriguing new path in mixology. Malt beverages do not seem to mix well with the fruity candy, but bitter, quality beers seem to mesh well. Obviosuly, more research needs to be done, but it is certainly nothing to laugh at.

Other Skittlebrau articles:
Skittlebrauing Mach II; Skirnoff Icekittles
More Skittlebrau Experimentation; Boones Farm Skrawberry Hill
Continuing the Skittle-Beer; Boones Farm Skuzzy Naval
Skittle-Tech Ain't Mopey About Pabsk Blue Skittles
Brewing Up Candied Malt Liquor; 211 Skeel Reserve
Skittlebrauology Continued; Goldsklager Skinnamon Schknaps
Skittlebrauing More Disaster; Baskardi Skuperior Rum

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