Technnologizzy
Here's Hoping Paypal Uses Google for Customer Service
By Brian K. White
Oct 11, 2004, 09:38

Perhaps this is what Paypal’s customer service department looks like – the seamless integration of telephone and Google search engine.

I'm not one for public displays of profanity, but lordy friggin' God almighty, what does it take to reach these people? Ma Bell and Pa Gore haven't been any help, so all I can hope is that somebody over there follows Google news. Maybe publishing my troubles will help, but I remain skeptical.

I've been trying to add a debit card to my Paypal account for four months. You go into screen after screen, but eventually it just tells you to call your own bank. I tried that, they don't know what the hell I'm calling about. They refer me back to Paypal, because after all, it's Paypal's error message in question, right? Yeah, who knows.

Page after page and screen after screen – it's a maddening loop, and there's no light at the end of Paypal's tunnel. There's no clicking to ask my question, and believe me, I've looked. Did I upset them? Am I a bad customer?

Is it too much to ask that Paypal actually staff their customer support lines? This is my vision – am I dreaming too grandly?

Oh wait, there's a toll-call number (you know, the opposite of an 800 number) maybe I should call that. Nope, over the past seven weeks, I've spent over forty minutes on lunch-break hold. Pay no mind to my long distance bill, I wouldn't mind if I'd ever gotten through, but I haven't.

My real bank had a warning, they said, "Those discount banks have terrible service sometimes." But wait, my fees for service are exorbitant. I gladly pay it for convenience, not inconvenience. Wait, why do I pay it?

Then a word from the 90s comes to mind: e-screwed. They've really got me by the nickels, don't they? If I want to do business online, I'm pretty much bent over at their mercy, aren't I?

What has happened to the hot customer service telephone chick? Has she been outsourced to India as well? If so, Indian telephone response sucks.

99% of Paypal's customers experience no trouble, but if you're a member of the 1% club, as I am, well, you may have some trouble. Maybe you can write an article too. It's a great concept and a reliable company, but if you have any questions, you might be hung out to dry. Don't worry, I'll see you on that line too.

My goal in all this is not to defame Paypal, as I'm warned that my account may be closed without warning, indiscriminately if you will. I pay a large percentage of my money in fees, would it kill them to offer some support? An 800 number would be nice. Adequate staffing for their pay number would be good too, but allowing me to email them my question should be an absolute minimum. Yet it isn't.

I'm not telling you not to use Paypal, as indeed you have no choice. I'm just hoping someone there will find this on their daily Google News alert and contact me to resolve it. I'll gladly take the article out of circulation, I just need some service on my account. I've tried everything else and sadly I'm reduced to having to publish.

If you're reading this and you're Paypal, contact me. That's all I ask. Look me up, I'm the only account with a GlossyNews.com suffix. Prove my critics wrong and don't close my account, just help me out. I'm a customer, I have money with you, I pay fees – just service me like a real customer. I'll go away and be good, I promise.

On an unrelated note, does anybody know the legal definition of a monopoly? For no particular reason do I ask, just curious.

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