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Closeted Gay Man Finds Out That Friends And Family Read MySpace Profile
By The Lean Jeff
Aug 28, 2007, 15:00

Filmore's Tell-Tale Detail Matrix

DAYTON, OH - Closeted Gay man Hubert Filmore discovered that his real life friends actually read his MySpace profile Saturday.

Gay MySpace User Hubert Filmore -- Although Filmore was officially still in the closet and had not disclosed his sexual orientation to any of his friends or family, he had chosen the "Gay" selection on the MySpace profile editor."I never realized that I knew anyone who would actually read it," said Filmore at a press conference this morning.

Filmore, a bulldozer owner and construction subcontractor who once enjoyed sexual anonymity among his circle of influence, was confronted by his friend Jerry Sparco yesterday with allegations that he had accidentally chosen "Gay" for his MySpace profile.

"...and I think you were trying to type 'I like meatballs in my pasta,' but you accidentally typed 'i like meat and balls in my arsehole,'" Sparco told Filmore.

Filmore, unable to lie, confirmed that the phrasing was intentional. Minutes later, he received phone calls with similar assertions from his parents, brother, and co-workers.

"I had no idea so many people I knew used MySpace," said Filmore. "I wish I could still lie and tell everyone it was a prank someone played on me, but I already posted a picture of myself making out with a Mario Lopez poster.

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