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Safe Halloween? Personal Body Armor Costumes Are FUN!
By Paul V. Cameron
Oct 28, 2003, 08:32

What are this year's Halloweeners wearing? The finest in protective costume-wear or nothing at all. And that means Kevlar-Only costumes for this year's fashionable trick-or-treaters. If you can't afford a personal armed guard for your child, then suit them up in Kevlar-Only kelvar-based personal protection costumes.

And, there are some nifty choices out there this year:

"Trick-or-treat, dipshit. Gimme the friggin' candy or I smoke the whole neighborhood."

Spidey-lar - A special cotton/Kevlar blend material that makes your child look just like that superhero Spidey. That tingling sensation you'll feel isn't your Spidey sense, it's the irritation of your skin caused by the heavy Kevlar lining. Ignore it and be thankful you haven't been snipered. It will clear up in 7-10 days anyway.

Austin Powerskev - Pink chaffon Kevlar. Look great, hip and groovey all at the same time. The weight of the Kevlar coat will make you hunch over, but consider that a safety bonus because you'll already be in ducking mode when the sniper bullets start flying.

MIB-KVLR - It's your favorite MIIB all-black-suit costume that's all Kevlar. No aliens will attempt to slime you in this baby and it's guarenteed to stop high-powered rifle bullets (so long as their fired from more than 500 ft).

Harry Potter and the Kevlar Suit - Just in time for Hallowe'en, it's the next installment of everyone's favorite wizard. Black rimmed glasses, a flying broom, a stick-on lightening bolt for your forehead, and a Kevlar cape - all say "Quidditch this, Mr. Sniper man".

And lastly, there's SpongeBobKevlarPants - Protect your nether regions from sniper action with this very hot costume of thick Kevlar reinforced sponge-like square pants with heavy duty reinforced leather suspenders. This costume screams out, "I may look like a doofus, but no one's gonna take a shot at my twigs and berries."

Remember: nothing says "peace of mind"' this Halloween like Kevlar-Only personal protection costumes!

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