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Bush Devises Cunning Covert Plan
By Brian K. White
Oct 21, 2003, 13:53

Proud, bold, cunning... a covert trifecta.

Early this morning the venerable President Bush announced a new covert operation plan, allegedly devised by the President himself. Though he was unavailable for comment, no one else was willing to take even an ounce of credit for it.

"We're very surprised at the president's plan and are curious to see how it will pencil out," said Donald Rumsfeld through what looked like an uncomfortably forced smile/grimace combo.

The new plan, President Bush has dubbed Operation "So Crazy It Just Might Work", involves a platoon of highly trained Asian-American and Mexican-American soldiers going in to Afghanistan in an attempt to find terrorist video-star, Osama Bin Laden.

"I can't tell you all the details, but I can tell you this; next week when little terrorist children are going door to door trick-or-treating, they'll be paving the way for our commandos. When a door is opened and the evil Mr. Bin Laden expects to give out candy or dung-balls or whatever it is they hand out over there, he'll find a surprise like this man here waiting to pop a cap in his sorry ass."

President Bush continued, "Within days, every living being will have memorized the face of this highly covert secret agent who is cleverly disguised with his shirt tied about his head. Does it look silly? Yes it does, but I am not a judgmental man."

Shortly after the press conference both Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld were seen boarding a plane for South America, each with as much cash as he could carry.

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