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Exploding Monk Showers Crowd With Pins
By Jason Arnopp
Oct 11, 2003, 09:14

The meditative monk moments before exploding in a hail of hail of pin-fury. Why can't these guys just molest children like regular priests?

BEIJING, CHINA - Death swooped on China's capital city last night when a monk broke his 15-year meditation in deadly fashion.

Min Padgea had sat cross-legged in Kung Po Church for a decade and a half, in protest at the government's banning of pencil cases in schools. He had attracted a loyal horde of fans, some of whom were barely born when he commenced his ordeal. Yet at 7:06pm, Padgea suddenly exploded, sending over 2000 inch-long pins hurtling towards a crowd of onlookers in the immediate vicinity. Eleven people were killed, while another three were cured of ills when the pins miraculously hit acupuncture-friendly spots.

Says local detective Chow Yun Phat told us, "This is a terrible, terrible incident for those who died, and also very mysterious. Our anagram expert Ram Gana has realised, however, that Min's name can be rearranged to spell 'pin damage'."

Phat and other police officials are particularly disturbed at what they feel was a preventable crime. "A lot of us play the 'Word Jumble' in the paper every day, and a couple of the guys are pretty good at it. We're really kicking themselves over this, let me tell you. Monks...you just never know what the hell they're thinking."

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