I Fear I'm Becoming A Pirate

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I Fear I'm Becoming A Pirate
By Brendan Alexander
Oct 10, 2003, 20:01

Look at me in the glory of my impending piracy. ARGH!

As we get older, we all experience change. Some subtle, others monumental. Yeah, I'm bigger. Yep, stronger too... But now my hair is turning red?

Red I say! (Well red-ISH anyhow.) This can't be right. How did this happen? It was dark brown, then normal brown, now turning to red? This leads me to one of very few conclusions. Let's break them on down.

I am a leprachaun. This is fairly likely, since I am Irish and I may have a pot of gold around here somewhere. This can't be ruled out.

I am becoming a pirate. This is also pretty likely. I've been known to proclaim "ARGH", walk with a funky gait, not unlike a peg-legged bandit of the high seas, and I'm sure I'd get along swimmingly with a parrot.

I will soon be an Irish Setter. Not quite as likely, but again, let's come to terms with the Irish part of it. I have the correct number of limbs to be a dog. I guess I'll just stay on the lookout for snout and/or tail growth. That was easy enough.

I am running a Looney Toons style fever, which is admittedly unlikely, but I have to think of all the possibilities. I don't feel hot enough for this, so I'm okay with letting this one go.

I am turning into a cherry popsicle... okay, let's not worry about this one. Too many problems with it, but it is red. Not the same red, mind you, but they are related phoenetically.

If you have any feedback to hasten my curious journey, it would be much appreciated. For now, should you see me on the street, you'd best surrender your gems and valuables. As for me, I have to go figure out how to shiver me timbers.

Above: Man, it just looks redder by the minute, and I point out there is no retouching in this picture, just the work of the ever-present (during the day) sun.