Entertainment
Bat Boy Identified as Lost Child Actor Richie Rich
By Brian K. White
Nov 16, 2004, 14:01

Bat Boy with his trademark smile appeared in this non-forged booking photo.

Carlsbad, New Mexico - In the early morning hours of Wednesday, Carlsbad emergency services responded to a 911 call in the 1200 block of East Summerset Ave. Upon arrival police witnessed the reclusive celebrity known as "Bat Boy" engaging in disorderly conduct. He was arrested for possession of drug parafanalia and second degree assault against.

Police cheif Ron Barnaby said, "I know how those guys felt when they booked 'Tupac' and 'P Diddy'. Stage name that solid, lord only knows their real name... Bat Boy had no identification and refused to cooperate during booking. It wasn't until [the following] morning when we ran his [finger] prints against the national database that we learned his true identity."

Law enforcement have been searching for Richie Rich since he disappeared some ten years ago. Former child star Rich had been wanted in the United States for playing chess in Yugoslavia in violation of the trade embargo. Awareness of the child protege was raised in the 1990's with the success of the mocku-drama Searching for Richie Rich, in which Rich was portrayed as a cute and clever kid, rather than the mentally imbalanced nut-job he truly is.

Some say the writing was on the wall, and it was merely a matter of time until Rich went bad.

Richie Rich was a child actor of unprecedented success, eventually able to command as much as $20 million per film. The alleged onset of puberty combined with paternal embezzlement stripped Rich of his fortune and threw him into a tailspin of drug abuse, peer-induced elective surgury, NAMBLA membership, and the consumption of rats far below the surface of the earth.

As with most of his former child star friends, Rich's only fame in the past ten years has been appearances in tabloid newspapers.

Rich can finally stand trial for his crimes, but the search for other former child stars continues. Police are requesting additional budget to follow up on a lead as to the whereabouts of Will Wheaton. Anonymous tipsters suggest he can be found on "cable".

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