Technnologizzy
Skittlebrauing More Disaster; Baskardi Skuperior Rum
By Brian K. White
Feb 20, 2004, 08:12

For the first time in recorderd history, sour Skittles were used.

Glossy News is commitment to ongoing research in the field of Skittlebrauology. In the past we have mixed Skittles with beer extensively, and with hard alcohol only once. The result with the hard alcohol was something less* than pleasant, so we have tried again, this time by mixing Skittles with Bacardi Superior Rum.

Four glasses each contained a half-ounce of rum. Each was introduced with two Skittles. The mixes were as follows. Red & purple original recipe, red & purple sour formula, green & yellow original, and lastly green & yellow sour formula.

Within minutes the colors had been completely stripped from the Skittles and were lying about in the glass resting neatly near their respective Skittles… you just gotta see the picture. The now-colorless Skittles were doing a mean impression of Easter eggs floating to be colored.

Look much like we're getting ready to color Easter eggs? Tasted worse than that dye, and it's toxic!

Each subject took ever such the slightest sip from only one of the four glasses. At that time it was learned that none of the participants could stomach glugging straight hard liquor. Descriptions included “harsh”, “potent”, and “rum”. Four ounces ginger ale was added to each.

It’s important to point out that these test subjects are experts in Skittlebrauing, as each of them had performed extensive alcohol consumption tests spanning the previous 90 minutes.

After tasting each of the four mixes both subjects agreed they were “okay” but wouldn’t offer any more specific feedback. When asked if the sour Skittle mixtures tasted more sour, they each replied with uncertainty.

During the second round of tasting, one subject was incapable of restraining himself from swearing. He was not agitated nor violent, just colorfully descriptive, although he was still describing ambiguity. The female test subject stated that all four drinks tasted the same, “like rum, which I don’t like.” She also began eyeing the male subject and patting his leg.

Skittlebrauing and pussy...a warm & welcome diversion!

During the third round the male subject flashed his hindquarters to the female subject, who in turn asked why he was bothering to wear pants at all. Female subject finally decided she enjoyed the two sour mixes. The male subjects decided he liked the two sweet mixes, and further that the female subject was a sweet mix he would also like to try. Also, a consensus was reached that pizza is good.

The final round was little more than pounding of remaining beverage and some slapping of ass. Subjects suggested that while the mixture was not terrible, it was not likely improved by the presence of Skittles. In terms of Skittlebrau success, this combination deserves three stars on a five star scale. Wasn’t great, but it was vastly better than the overwhelming majority of experiments performed, and it also looks as though at least one of our test subjects will get some action out of it.

The experiment closed with each participant receiving their $5, scrawling signatures across the hold harmless agreement, and being carried back to their cars so they could drive home.


* Far, far less.

Other Skittlebrau articles;
The Art of Skittlebrau
Skittlebrauing Mach II; Skirnoff Icekittles
More Skittlebrau Experimentation; Boones Farm Skrawberry Hill
Continuing the Skittle-Beer; Boones Farm Skuzzy Naval
Skittle-Tech Ain't Mopey About Pabsk Blue Skittles
Brewing Up Candied Malt Liquor; 211 Skeel Reserve
Skittlebrauology Continued; Goldsklager Skinnamon Schknaps

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