Sports
Surfer Loses Mouth In Bizarre Accident
By Jason Arnopp
Nov 17, 2003, 07:02

Desite having his mouth completely consumed during the wind-surfing accident, Castado has vowed to continue riding the board. "Mmmmphmnph," he said shortly after his hospital release. "Mmnmnph-mm-nmmmnmnphrph." Inspiring words for us all.

California surf king Michael Castado is fighting for his life in hospital this morning, after a seemingly routine wind-surfing jaunt turned into a limb-flapping, flesh-consuming horror.

As Castado was hopping from one crashing wave to another astride his sail-board, his own mouth began devouring itself, hideously munching on teeth, gums, lips and finally his tongue.

"I could see he was in trouble," recalls surf-buddy Serge Gainsboard, "but I was too obsessed with showing off my own moves to help him. I was, y'know, totally on top of the surf, man."

Within seconds, Castado's mouth had been entirely swallowed, leaving no evidence that it ever existed.

"It reminded me of how Neo looks at one point, in the first Matrix movie," said Gainsboard, "only Mike isn't nearly as good-looking as Keanu Reeves. 'Specially without a mouth, man! Actually, I'm looking for some acting work myself, if you know any good contacts."

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