Sponge Bob and Squidword apparently love Elian's Pizza trailer.
I love pizza and commercially licensed, protected cartoon characters as much as the next guy, but when it comes to full-price pizza sold at a cost equal to the piracy of the very same cartoon characters who lured me over in the first place, I've got a beef, and it ain't that mystery meat sprinkled liberally between the melted mozzarella.
I've been to China, so I know all about the unlicensed use of trademark characters to promote a business that neither pays nor deserves such credibility. What I didn't realize is how rampant such practices are here in the United States of America.
And by "The United States" of course I mean Puerto Rico. It's technically the United States, depending who you ask, but only barely, and this is the proof to my pudding.
The pictures on this story come from two different places, on two different days -- in case the wardrobe changes didn't make that abundantly clear. It seems everywhere you turn in Puerto Rico, you'll find the misappropriation of beloved cartoon greats, and it's not just in fun,but to sell Americas unofficial favorite food, pizza.
As an elite member of the media who has never actually had material stolen (since our reprint is largely permitted without cost), I don't actually have a vested interest in the matter but, no less, I accidentally declared a boycott on these pizza-mongers in my own way – by showing up before they actually made their first slice of pizza for the day.
That's what I do to keep the dollars flowing into the pockets of the likes of Stan Lee, who is surely hurting for money because of such theft. If copyright laws were enforced Joe's Pizza would have paid his due $20,000 in legal fees to secure a fair, binding arrangement by which to use the image of the Credible Hulk (that's what we call him (since we haven't dug up anything on him to actually make him "in-credible"), for the paltry sum of more than they earn in a year.
Of course, Stan Lee et al would never approve of such usage for any amount of money, and even without the image the pizzeria-on-wheels (sans motor) would likely earn the exact same amount of money, but all that is beside the principle of the point of the matter of the res ipsa loquitor.
And that's me getting all Latin on you right there, legalese style, baby.
Still, you have to admit these are two pretty strange trends here in Puerto Rico. First that the otherwise licensed images are stolen, and second that there's no oversight or enforcement of such infractions.
Above - Even Dominic has his doubts, and that guy loves pizza bigger than me.
Above - I know Sponge Bob loves Pizza, and it's arguable that he might love Elian's watermelon just as well. Not sure what any of this means, but still.
