Mr. and Mrs. Gross during one of their lighter moments
McDonald's is facing a $327 million suit filed by Betty Gross who claims that her husband Gordy became obese from eating at the burger institution. “McDonald's knowingly offers super size meals without informing their customers that eating them will super size their body,” claimed Gross's lawyer and noted class action litigator, Harry Deel. “People think they are getting a bargain when in fact all they are doing is unwittingly consuming themselves to death.”
A distraught Mrs. Gross claimed that she and her husband hadn't been able to have sex in over a year. “He's just so fat it's gross. Besides, how would I ever find 'it', if you know what I mean?” With what appeared to be tear in her eye she stuttered, “I could have been happy. I could have been fulfilled. I could have had sex! Um... with my husband. But now, because of the callously rich McDonald's, all I have to look forward to is massive settlement wealth. But I'd trade it all in to have my old thin Gordy back. Really.”
Max, the Grosses Chihuahua
Mrs. Gross vowed to use any money won to fight what she sees as the biggest problem with America – fatness caused by corporate greed. “We plan to take Burger King to court next, followed by Kentucky Fried Chicken,” Mrs. Gross stated. “KFC, mmmmm,” Mr. Gross moaned. It was the only comment he made during at the announcement. “We even plan to sue Purina after what their Hi-Pro dog food did to our poor little Max,” continued Mrs. Gross excitedly. “And if I become fabulously wealthy, let that serve as a warning to corporate America that they can't tread on the little, er... meek people any more!”
