Ted Danyluk is among the first to test the Neoprene® beer cozy.
LOS FELICES, NM – Frequent beer consumer Tad Danyluk, 44, acquired a promising new leisure asset Sunday: a synthetic rubber sleeve to keep his beer cold. Longer.
Community members gathered around the Danyluk garage around 1:00 PM to witness the unveiling of the new device, which proponents say will significantly increase the amount of time Danyluk can wield a beer without fear of environmental heat damaging its flavor.
The long-time Los Felices resident ceremonially detached a paper label, which highlighted its features and price, from the new cozy before assigning its maiden mission: to maintain the temperature of a recently-acquired Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.
Danyluk is among the very first to test and use Neoprene, a revolutionary new insulating material engineered by top-level scientists at DuPont laboratories in Wilmington, Delaware. Though Neoprene boasts many applications, the introduction of Danyluk’s beer cozy to the consumer market is considered the most significant and promising.
A spokesman for DuPont said that the company hopes to see the Neoprene beer cozy revolutionize the way consumers worldwide enjoy beer. “We are just grateful to be a part of an extraordinary movement,” he said. “We estimate that in seven to ten years, prematurely warm beer will be a thing of the past; even under the harshest drinking conditions.”
Many of Danyluk’s neighbors and friends have already expressed an interest in purchasing a Neoprene beer cozy. However, for some, major purchase decisions often require serious research.
Rusty James, who lives two blocks away from Danyluk, is concerned about the long-term health effects of Neoprene personal refrigeration aids. “I won’t be convinced until about 25 years down the road,” James told reporters. “If these things cause cancer like cell phones and microwaves might, count me out.”
Others are less skeptical. Troy Valentine, who participates in Danyluk’s bowling league, is just waiting for a version that accepts cans. “I only buy cans, so hopefully the scientists will be back in the lab coming out with something like that soon,” he said.
Valentine added that specialized editions that accommodate taller, narrower Coors cans and keg-shaped Heineken cans would also be appealing.
Nationally, the demand for Neoprene beer cozies is expected to exceed that of traditional foam rubber models over the next several years.
Danyluk told reporters that he intends to enjoy his new purchase thoroughly, while still keeping abreast of the latest in beer preservation technology.
