You know this dude, man I'm totally spacing on his name right now.
With the numbers of child abduction cases across the country on the rise, serious charges have been raised by leaders in the black community. They are strongly suggesting that these men are guilty of far worse crimes beyond the obvious charges.
These people are guilty not only of kidnapping, rape, and murder, but also... discrimination. "We believe that these people are actually discriminating, i.e. purposely avoiding kidnapping black children. It’s bad enough these people steel children, they actually have the nerve to look at skin color when deciding who to take." Stated Kweisi Mfume, President of the NAACP.
"Every time we watch the news, another WHITE girl is taken! How do you think African-American children feel when they find out that they are not wanted by pedophile maniacs just because they are black... it has to hurt their self-esteem tremendously."
Mfume continued, "Such racism will not be tolerated, and we demand that, unless these racists can prove they are unbiased in their crimes, they’re actions will be labeled a "hate crime. Then there is going to be SERIOUS hell to pay."
These new actions will have a large effect in the courtroom, say many attorneys. "This puts tremendous pressure on us to make sure our child raping and murdering client is not labeled a racist." Defense Attorney Dagney Rand stated. Added Rand, "all I have to say is, if I get a client that is guilty of child abduction and murder, and we can’t prove that he had raped and killed at least one African-American girl, we are in REAL trouble."
Jessee Jackson stated that his Rainbow PUSH Collalition looked into directly suing the pedophiles for damages, but because they are mostly low-income recluses, he plans on going after McDonalds instead. "Our research discovered that 84% of racist pedophiles have eaten at a McDonalds within a year before their crimes, and the obvious question is...’why?‘ The McDonald’s people have a lot of explaining to do." said Jackson.
"Well, I think we pretty much cleared that up." "Yeah...HEY! Somebody stole our car. Damn!"
Cole Esterol, spokesperson for McDonalds, stated, "In no way, shape or form have we ever encouraged our customers to be kidnappers, rapists, murderers, pedophiles and, most importantly, racists!"
Mfume concluded his speech saying, "If we have to tie up these cases in court for thirty years, keeping these racists from the death penalty and making them stay in their private rooms in prison with only basic cable, in order to make sure they are properly labeled the racists that they are, then we’ll do it! It’s definitely worth the cause."
"Oh, yeah", said Jackson triumphantly eating a Big Mac, "we got McDonalds by the McNuggets, so justice definitely will be served, with a side-order of greenbacks. Hey, how come McDonalds only uses WHITE bread? That gives me an idea..."
