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Kung Fu Hookers Crack Down on Smack Downs: Seriously
By Rusty
Jun 21, 2009, 11:20
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Even while performing unspeakable acts, it remains important to conceal ones face for reasons of modesty.
Prostitutes in the southern Indian state of Tamil Nadu (renown for its piquant Madras pussy – and curries)) have begun taking karate lessons to protect themselves from violent customers and greedy pimps.

The women say they were so fed up with abuses – such as having one shoved up their back passage when the client had only paid for a quickie knee trembler - that they approached a local martial arts club for help.

The organisers hope the course in the ancient self-defence technique sends a message that violence against sex workers must stop – and any BD/SM fetish scenarios / special services the customer requires will cost more.

India is thought to have nearly thirty million sex workers who get paid – and a further three hundred million who don’t.

The paid whores are classified as low caste sluts who live on the fringes of society and have few legal rights – a bit like stockbrokers, bankers, lepers and Dalits.

Pity the numb-nuts who crosses the line and feels the fury of these nunchucks.
Dressed in virginal white and wearing masks, the first hundred hookers to take the karate course in the coastal city of Madras (Chennai) trained for five hours a day to get the basics right.

Now the happy hookers say they feel more able to protect themselves.

"Even though I may not quite be Bruce Lee just yet, I can punch my way through a group of five men if they attack me and am now fully confident I can rip their balls off,” one sex worker, Kali (her patron Goddess’ name) told Pox News Tamil service.

"I think I can easily handle one man at any given time. A thug once stripped me of my clothes and told me to do cartwheels and handstands in the street for his friends’ amusement.”

“From now on nobody can do that to me. The next time some man says he won’t come in my mouth I will tear off his manhood and piss down his throat if he breaks his word."

More extreme measures were briefly considered, but quickly rejected.
The Indian Community Welfare Organisation is providing the training free of charge. Its founder secretary, Mahat Macoat, said Tamil Nadu state alone was thought to have about 5,000,000 commercial sex workers to service over 100,000,000 horny single – and married - men.

Conversely one Madras charity group for battered husbands has raised the spectre that the black belt whores are now using their newly-learned martial skills to solicit unwilling males into paying for sex with them – with the threat of a good kicking if they don’t get it up and perform, then cough up the requisite rupees fee.

Rusty appears courtesy of The Satire Stall.




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