Running out of options the Mariners have taken to intermittently playing dirty and poorly.
After the horrific proliferation of steroids throughout MLB during recent seasons teams have been forced to go back to the pre-roid ball days of classic baseball. Now faced with no alternative the Seattle Mariners have begrudgingly chosen failure as their only alternative, a game they've proven without a doubt they can play to win.
Mariners manager Bob Melvin explains that "in recent years we had all kinds of designer steroids and great plausible deniability to get us through to the playoffs. [Bret] Boone had an All-Star breakout year in '02 couple with a brand new furious rage, if you think that's just luck you're crazier than Detroit's mascot. Have you seen that motor-city kitty? He's nuts!"
Right Fielder Ichiro Suzuki, a non-steroidal player famous for being lean, mean and Japanese said through an interpreter "bat me first or ninth it doesn't matter if there's no 'juice' to bat me home I'm not going to score."
Freddy Garcia, a non-juicing pitcher likewise shared his frustration. "I have the best earned run average in the American League but only two wins all season. Why? What stops us from getting more than one or two runs in a game? The Moose [team mascot] should be at the plate instead, at least he can lay down a clean bunt."
Keep your eye on the ball, for sure, but also try to put a glove on it when you can.
While this first year of true steroid testing is Major League Baseball has clearly shown that Testosterone-trans-
4-n-butylcyclohexyl-
carboxylate can out bat straight testosterone it has also shown that not all losers are sour. Indeed, some are too ashamed to even speak.
Later this season the Mariners are looking to consider the integration of batting practice, exercise and as a last resort, coaching. While not doing drugs may make an individual a winner, as a team it just ain't so.
