"After six Oxycontin, I can bang my mouth on this microphone without skipping a beligerant beat, stupid."
NEW YORK CITY - Over 20 million Americans enthusiastically enjoy the effects of marijuana each year. Its overwhelming popularity can be attributed to the hardiness of its plant source and an exceptionally devoted consumer base.
Still, incendiary radio personality, Rush Limbaugh referred to the drug as "hype in a pipe" during a heated discussion yesterday on his syndicated "The Rush Limbaugh Show."
Limbaugh is known as a staunch supporter of big business and the remarks were made after a caller described marijuana highs as superior to those generated by the often black-marketed Purdue Pharma product, OxyContin.
"There's just no comparison," retorted Limbaugh. "Oxy is not even in the same ballpark as weed. The liberal media trumps weed up because they hate the pharmaceutical industry and they want to see a natural product continue to thrive in today's market. Shit, half the time when I smoke a doobie I don't even feel it. Now if you want to compare oxy with, say, smack then maybe we have a discussion."
"OxyContin, methadone, vicadin, hydrocodone, Dilaudid if you're lucky, Darvocet, um... codeine, morphine if you can get it, heroine if you can't. Let's see, I also like Dermeral, Darvon, Fentanyl, and Percocet I guess. If I can't get any of these, I just chew some valarian root and punch holes in walls."
Limbaugh's critics say his comments are biased. OxyContin is a product of industry. It is also disproportionably popular among rural white males whereas marijuana enjoys a more diverse clientele. Andrew Coleman, spokesman for the marijuana advocacy group NORML added this:
"Rush wants us all to do oxy because oxy feeds the machine, man. Do you want to feed the machine?"
"You told me you could get me a hundred pills by Tuesday and it's already Thursday!"
Limbaugh could not be reached for comment. A spokesman for his parent station, WKKK, returned our e-mail and assured us that neither Rush, WKKK or any station in their affiliate network wishes its listeners to feed the machine. The spokesman went on to say:
"Quality is Ford's job 1, Enjoy Coca-Cola and be sure to ask your doctor about Celebrex."
