I don't understand people sometimes. This 19-year-old girl in Colorado charges Kobe Bryant with sexual assault—not rape, meaning that she didn't even try to get pregnant. Eh, hello? This guy's got money out the ass, so let him give it to you in the ass (but obviously make him dunk it in the right hoop to finish). Ever hear of Sean Kemp, lady? This guy's got like six kids across the country, all of them getting ree-aatch. Man, people can be so stupid.
If I told you that for ten minutes of discomfort and/or degradation, you could be set for life, wouldn't you take it? This chick must really be crazy like all those websites say.
Anyway, you know Kobe's wife is praying for a conviction. Shit, he admits to adultery, she gets a four million dollar ring. What's he going to get her if a guilty verdict comes in? “I'm sorry baby, here's a new car. The chassis was carved out of the Wailing Wall, the windshield is made out of stained glass from the Sistine Chapel, the pistons are the Elephant Man's bones, and the seats are upholstered with albino koala bear fur.”
Of course, Kobe's million dollar dick means nothing to
me, since I'm all man. All outros, no intros on this body. Though, now that I think about it, I would be so thankful if Kobe porked me. I mean, not for the love-making experience, but for the aftermath. Hell, a superstar like him having a gay relationship has got to pull twice as much dough as one with just some chick on the side. Man, Ray Lewis survived a murder trial and now he's endorsing video games, but a homosexual relationship? You can't come back from that. People hate gays. I'm onto something here...off to the drawing board...
