"This Daytime talk show appearance will finally give me a chance to show people how unreasonable my mom is (with English subtitles)"
You know how like when your mom is such a bitch, you’re like, what the f*ck, and she’s all, I don’t give a f*ck? My bitch mom is taking me on the Maury show so I can finally prove what a skank-ass slut she is to all the people.
Have you ever been absolutely right about something, but nobody believed you? Well, my mother refuses to believe that she’s a grossly unreasonable tyrant, so I am rapturous that she is taking me on The Maury Povich show so I will finally have the opportunity to prove what a despotic autocrat she is in front of a national audience.
She’s all, “You can’t dress all sexy and sh*t. You can’t f*ck men and sh*t,” and I’m all, “Who made you God, bitch?” She’s just jealous. She’s just jealous. Ah. Ah ah. She can’t wear no sexy sh*t so she’s all, “You can’t wear no sexy sh*t.” F*ck you, bitch. Ain’t my fault you’re a fat-ass bitch and no man want you. Uh huh. Maury’s people be all, “Yeah, she’s a bitch-ass skank.”
My mother consistently chastises me about my revealing mode of dress and my well-rounded sexual promiscuity. While, I am uncertain as to who appointed her a deity, I am certain of this: personal jealousy is the root of her stance. Her inability to wear the same provocative garments and garner limitless sexual activity infuriates her to the point where she must exercise unjustifiable domination to prevent me from doing the same. Once I explain this to Povich’s objective audience, TV viewers will finally be able to see the extent to which I live under her iron fist.
It’s my body. It’s my body. She can’t tell me what to do with my body. If you got it, you gotta show it. And I got it. You know you want it. Uh huh. You know you want it. Maury’s audience will see that I got it, and they’ll know what a bitch my mom is.
In order to ratify my point, I plan to get out of my chair, proceed to the front of the stage, look at the discriminating audience and wave my hands up and down my body while informing them that they are indeed aware that they want that which I am gesturing (my sexually desirable body).
When she see nobody likes her ugly ass and they all want me, I’ll be like, “Whatcha gonna do now, bitch? Uh huh. Whatcha gonna do now, bitch? You ugly-ass bitch! They be all cheering for me and booing your ugly ass.”
My persuasive argument and attractive body will undoubtedly win the favor of the studio audience, which will proceed to applaud me and heckle my mother. I will then request her retaliation, with the full expectation that she will lack a competent one. At this point, I will remind her of the applause and heckling currently taking place.
