In response to jokes and commentary on how many of the 9/11 terrorists lived and trained in his state completely unnoticed, Florida Governer Jeb Bush has unveiled a plan to help local Florida law enforcement spot potential terrorists.
"I know this plan is late in coming, but it took an intense sociological study for us to find behaviors common to terrorists that would not be exhibited by other members of Florida's diverse cultural population."
"We've notified all law enforcment agencies in the state of Florida to watch for and act immediately on certain chacteristics: Anyone who uses their turn signals regularly and uniformly while driving in Florida should be stopped for questioning and search. Our research indicates that in 99% of those cases, the person behind the wheel is a definate outsider, with no concept of life in Florida."
Spotting terrorists in Florida is no easy task. How many do you see in this photo? HINT: They don't wear underwear.
"Additionally, if a head is visible above the dashboard of any late-model Cadillacs, Lincolns or Crown Victoria's, a road block is to be set up immediately, and the occupants subdued by S.W.A.T. teams. Anyone in the aforementioned vehicles looking out the rear window while backing up should be shot on site. Those drivers are CLEARLY not Florida residents."
When asked if Florida law enforcement should be focusing attention on drivers who use their turn signals regularly, or otherwise display awareness of other drivers, Gov. Bush responded, "Absolutely! Alert drivers equals alert terrorists - end of story! This is Florida, people, remember?"
A follow up question on whether or not he had compromised the effectivness of his new plan by releasing the details publicly elicited this respones:
"No, not at all. Have you ever seen an old, crabby terrorist complaining about the knishes in a restaurant? I didn't think so."
