Can Jennifer Lopez get pregnant? “Well she can if she can stop getting her freak on for a week or two,” said noted fertility doctor Seymour Hershey. “Frankly, she just needs to quit taking it up the ass for a little while.” It is widely accepted that current hubby Marc Anthony might be tapping that ass overtime, but recent interviews on rumors of her pregnancy reveals J. Lo actually prefers it up the ass. “My ass made me what I am today,” J. Lo told reporters. “It’s good to love your work,” she giggled, bending over to tease the camera man.
It has been rumored that Marc and J. Lo have been trying to have a baby for some time, but neither can break their routine of “torrid anal sex” long enough to have sex the normal way. Plus, her running feud with anti-fur activists hasn’t exactly contributed to the opportunity for vaginal sex. “J. Lo never shaved her pussy,” said ex-boyfriend Ben Affleck. As a result, many anti-fur advocates mistakenly assumed she’s wearing fur-lined panties when that’s just plain old naval to asshole Puerto Rican crotch hair. "Of course that means your only clear shot is up the groove tube,” Affleck winked, his slacks becoming visibly firmer.
Sean “P Diddy” Combs confirmed J. Lo’s love of the booty beef injection. “Oh yeah, that bitch loved it in the ass,” said the former colon Casanova. “Why do you think it’s so goddamned big? That’s not fat, that’s solid muscle…she’s always working it out.” Our reporters called J. Lo’s agent to set up a phone interview to ask about her former boyfriends’ allegations but were told whenever anyone asked about her ex Ben Affleck or anything too personal for that matter, she simply hung up on them! So we didn't even try going there!
But Dr. Seymour Hershey did acknowledge that the couple was attempting to have a child, and that indulging exclusively in anal sex “might be why the bitch can’t get knocked up.” It might be a while, though. Rumor has it her sphincter doesn’t appear like it’ll be giving out soon.
