This IMAX theatre in Massachusetts plays tons of boring crap with no entertainment value.
MISSISSAUGA, ONTARIO - The IMAX corporation has been wasting its wickedly cool film technology, boasting towering 8-story screens, on lame educational films for 35 years, sources reported Friday. Although no spokesperson from IMAX was available for comment, reporters confirmed that IMAX has indeed spent the past quarter of a century lending its totally bitching 70mm film format to “lame-ass, boring-as-hell informative turds.”
Founded in 1967, IMAX debuted its sweet-ass 15,000 watt projector in 1970. Some moron decided that it would be a good idea to deprive the world of the enjoyment of the technology and use it exclusively for sleep-inducing pieces of crap that nobody would watch, such as Blue Planet, Titanica, and Into the Deep.
This all-documentary heritage has helped IMAX attract grant funding for a variety of projects, supporting contentions that free money is better than earning it the old fashioned way, by market appeal.
Roger Munds, a 33-year-old man who lives within 4 miles of an IMAX theatre has never been to it, and says the films do not appeal to him. “They just look boring. I’ll tell you, if they would show Bloodsport or Rocky V, I would be there in a heartbeat,” Munds told reporters. Munds added that he would also go to the IMAX theatre if they allowed him to connect his Playstation to the projector.
When contacted to ask why IMAX films were all such hopelessly mind-numbing piles of film feces, co-CEO and master dimwit Bradley Wechsler failed to submit comment. However, local guy with 11 bucks not spent at the IMAX Ted Bennett told reporters that it was probably because of all the dumbasses that make the films.
