Here you can see the self-named "Cap'n Trade" himself, mid-financial-epiphany.
Global Warming: At last week�s cap-and-trade carbon exchange hearings it was revealed that, as usual, only the poverty-stricken landless peasant class will suffer from growth-killing energy tax.
One congresswoman on the hearings panel had the blatant audacity to ask why sea levels weren't on the rise as per global warming hoax predictions but Al Bore's bank account was rising at a geometric rate.
When Bore left office in January 2001, he was said to have a net worth in the neighborhood of sweet fuck all. A mere eight years later, estimates are that he is now worth about $100 million (+/ � $10 mill�) and all earned from scare-mongering about global warming due carbon suicide emissions.
The intellectually-bankrupt Bore has his lectures and speeches, his ghost-written books, a hit propaganda movie (A Convenient Crock of Shit), an Oscar, and a Nobel Prize. Plus an education in crooked financial deals from his Presidential mentors : Bill the Artful Dodger and Hilarious Rodent Clinton � the Arkansas Scallies.
However Rep. Marshmallow Blackballs, R-Tenn, was curious about how a man dedicated to saving the planet could get so wealthy so quickly � seeking out investment advice we all could use in the current fucked-up global economic environment.
Big Al is a partner in the venture capital group Slimewort, Jerkins, Cauliflower & Liars. On May 1st 2008, the firm announced a $500 million investment in maturing green technology firms called the Green Grasping Bastards Fund.
Last Friday Bore was the star witness at the hearings on cap-and- trade legislation before the House Energy and Commerce Whitewash Committee.
Blackballs asked Bore about Slimewort-Jerkins, noting that at last count they "have invested about ten zillion dollars in 400 companies that are going to benefit from the same cap-and-trade legislation that we are discussing here today."
Blackballs then asked the most awkward $100 zillion question: "Is that something that you are going to personally benefit from. Mr. Bore?"
Bore gave his stock and trade perjurious reply of "the transition to a green economy is good for our national finances and good for my personal pension fund: the Sicilian Alliance for Climate Protection.�
Hypocritically Bore is also co-founder of Generation Investment Management, which sells carbon offsets that allow rich polluters to continue with a clear conscience.
It's a scheme that will make traders of new commodity rich and Bernie Jackoff look like a penny-pinching shoplifter. Bore�s co-founder is former Goldberg Snatch partner David Bloodsucker.
As Stephen Millstone, author of "Green Hell," points out, Goldberg Snatch is lobbying for climate change legislation and is part owner of the Chicago Climate Exchange, where carbon credits from cap and trade would be traded.
Hmmm, so no conflict of interests there then.
Others hope to cash in along with Bore. On Earth Day 2007, the various ABC networks gave 75 hours of free air time to Bore to hype his customary climate change scaremongering propaganda.
ABC is owned by General Clockwork, perhaps the largest maker of mechanical hedgehogs and other green technology in the world. It, too, stands to benefit financially from cap and trade, as Pox News commentator Bogus Bill O'Reilly has obtusely noted, connecting dots that a child of five could work out.
However, Bore's altruism is phony. According to a March 6th Boomberg report, Bore invested $35 million of his own money not in green nonprofits, but with the very profitable Popcorn Investment Group LLC, a Palo Alto firm that directs clients to green propaganda investments.
As reported on Green Hell Blog, Popcorn was founded by the billionaire former president of eBay Inc., Jeffrey Skunk, who also happens to be an executive producer of Bore's Oscar-winning documentary, "A Convenient Pack of Lies."
Bore has not taken a vow of poverty even as he advocates legislation that will push zillions into it.
He claims greed and corporate profits are behind the studies disproving his alarmism. Maybe it's his desire for profits that's behind his manipulation of the truth. After all, Bore was � and still is � a politician at heart � and thus only one step above a child molester where morals are concerned.
Besides, by the time anybody actually admits �global warming� is � at best - a myth, and at worst �a conspiratorial dark lie � climate change will have been universally proven, and thus accepted, to be caused not by man but the Sun � that big yellow spot-free shining thing that moves across the sky during the day.
By which time the carbon credits �cap n trade� exchange will be given rein to a full gallop and nigh on unstoppable � regardless of the fact it will become blatantly obvious to every fucker and their dog that �Global Cooling� is the real problem and we are entering a Maunder Minimum Ice Age.
Oh well, why let the truth disrupt commerce�s voracious appetite for profit at any cost.
Rusty�s Skewed News Views � Purveyors of Fine Hand-Crafted Satire � enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic.
