Protest group makes bold statement about environmental protection issues.
Environmental activist group Save This Only Planet, or STOP, organized a small march on the headquarters of the Exxon Mobil Corporation today, culminating in a protest "oil burning demonstration," which experts estimate released "enough toxic fumes and greenhouse emissions to drive several species extinct." Exxon reps were unable to comment, since the group also failed to perform their protest in the correct state.
"This is like a book burning," explained the groups official spokesman, speaking on the condition of anonymity, "Except we're burning the thing they use to rob Americans, destroy mother earth, and poison our children." Jason Franklin quickly added, "It's oil."
Exxon Mobile Corporation is headquartered on Las Colinas Boulevard in Irving, Texas, but for unknown reasons, the protest was held in front of Las Colinas middle school in Irvine, California.
Most unfortunate for the group, perhaps, is that they drove their convoy 1,400 miles from their base in Burleson, Texas, which is just 38 miles from the actual Exxon headquarters.
The group of about 40 people, mostly curious school children who happened to be in the area, burned three steel drums of what they described as "oil", casting a dark cloud of thick, acrid smoke, which could be seen up to 15 miles away.
Three barrels of crude oil emits at least a ton of carbon, but the barrels were not simply filled with Texas Intermediate. From appearance, they contained caulking, ice cube trays, worn out tire re-treads, Styrofoam, greasy shop rags curtains, Vaseline, house paint and shopping bags, all drowned in waste motor oil.
Harmful chemicals released into the air also includes sulfur dioxide, styrene and dioxins.
Mary, who asked that we not use her last name, said, "I know we could have done this better, but we got our message out and people know they have to stand up to these earth killers."
Her husband, Mr. Jacobs, who asked that we not use his first name, said of the oppression of Big Oil, "Give me liberty or give me death." He then left the scene to find his Albuterol inhaler.
Officers seen here assisting an event attendant who dropped a contact lens.
Irvine Police arrived shortly after the fires were set and asked if the group had obtained the Special Event Permit required for a protest gathering. They had not, so police officers Krazinski and Bitman helped escort the polite protesters from location with Tazers and tear gas, explaining, "Stop resisting! Stop resisting!"
An air quality warning was issued for Orange and Los Angeles Counties by noon, citing "extreme risk to children, the elderly and those with respiratory conditions."
