Above: With the many choices offered through religious freedom, many agnostics find it hard to know which path of sure damnation to choose.
The Church Of England appointed a bearded hippy pacifist, homosexual friendly, Welsh druid as its Archbishop of Canterbury - in a desperate attempt to appear 'relevant' and modern in attracting new followers. Frankly, it's been a disaster.
What is it that religion really has to offer, and does it make good on its promises? Does religion actually deliver the kind of superstar lifestyle being enjoyed by the celebrities - including Cliff Richard and Tony Blair (Church of England), Cat Stevens (Islam), Richard Gere (Buddhism), and John Travolta (Scientology) - endorsing it?
To try and find out, we confronted the Reverend Adrian Proddo, a typical C of E vicar on the steps of his church in Chatham and asked him directly - "Just what is it you God botherers are selling?" His reply was vague and evasive, claiming that they weren't actually selling anything as such. "We merely offer the hope of salvation and entry into the Kingdom of Heaven."
At face value - free entry into a nightclub, albeit a gay one - this sounds like good value. However, we knew there had to be catch - nothing's free in this world - so we pressed the priest further and were horrified to learn that the real price of entry to his club was death! "
We put it to Proddo that he and his church were attempting to get innocent people to part with their immortal souls under false pretences - he had no proof whatsoever that this so-called paradise of Heaven existed. His reply was to tell us to "Bugger off" and threaten us with hellfire and damnation, before slamming the church door in our face.
Does religion actually offer the consumer a good deal? In terms of tangible product, it seems doubtful. Does following the faith guarantee a superstar lifestyle? The sad fact is that whilst the top religious leaders, Bishops, Cardinals, Ayatollahs and the like, seem to live in palaces and wear designer robes, their ordinary priests and parishioners seem to live in modest, perhaps even crappy means, sometimes even penury.
"I blame the Bible for all this sex and violence," says committed atheist Ron Punce. "It is just chock full of begatting and divine retributions, sacrifices and the like that sort of thing can't possibly be a good influence on kids. They should ban it from schools immediately!"
