Since the news broke that Russia is selling antitank guided missiles, jamming devices, and night vision goggles to Baghdad, Congressman Bob Ney (R-Asylum) has sponsored legislation urging the suicide sport known as Russian Roulette to be officially renamed Freedom Roulette.
This move comes after Congressman Ney bravely defended America by renaming French Fries in the congressional cafeteria because France declined to support an American led preemptive war to protect itself from Iraq, a weaponless country barely the size of California. This is despite the fact that french fries actually originated in Belgium. So far Belgium has yet to weigh in on the war on Iraq, so Belgium Waffles are still referred to as Belgium Waffles.
“Never again will our children, and our children’s children put a gun to their head and tempt fate in the name of anti-Americanism,” said Ney at a press conference. “Now when we shoot ourselves, we’ll do so in the name of freedom and democracy.”
Inside sources tell the Urinal Era that other than Britain, no European nation is safe from freedom. Rumors that Chinese Checkers and German Potato Salad may be the next casualties in the war on terror, however, have yet to be confirmed.
