C'mon in to the bank for some free hot tasty toaster treats. Don't forget to bring the butter.
WASHINGTON (DC) - In a move that raised several eyebrows in the financial world, the Federal Reserve Board announced today that they will leave prime lending rate unchanged but will offer the option of ninety days same as cash and a free toaster.
"The economy is recovering fast enough that we should leave the interest rate alone," siad Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan, "but that doesn't mean we can't make a deal. For the rest of the quarter we're offering all loans ninety days same-as-cash...AND you get a free toaster. And I gotta' tell ya' these toasters are beauties, they're the four slot jobbers, extra wide for bagels and frozen waffles, too."
Although an immediate buzz went through the room a puzzled Senator Ted Kennedy asked, "What does this offer have do with the Fed loaning money to other banks?"
Fresh & moist toaster tarts...hot and dee-licious!
A frustrated Greenspan attempted to explain his actions. "Senator, I'm sure there are those who feel I must be mentally unbalanced to offer banks such a great deal as this, but all I can say to that is I have rooms full of loan officers whose phones aren't ringing and it has to change. It's about moving product, Senator."
Even his assistants were dumbfounded by Greenspan's decision. Tyler Moxley, Greenspan's chief economist said, "Looking at this from a bankers perspective, it's obvious Greenspan's gone insane, but what's great is that is he's passing the insanity on to you. If I'm with a bank right now I'm thinking, 'Wow, we gotta get down to the Fed and get some papers signed before all of ththose great toasters are gone'."
Senator Kennedy rufused further comment, but did eat a dozen pipng hot Pop Tarts Greenspan passed around.
