"oopsy-daisy," say Castro's handlers, "little too much wacky habaccy, perhaps."
After years of sanctions, bluster, and posturing America's number one nemesis has fallen. News of Cuban leader Fidel Castro's fall has excited US State Department officals and Cuban expatriates alike.
Fidel Castro, leader for life of the island nation of Cuba, officially fell yesterday.
"Finally," shouted Miguel Nastro, of Miami's 'Little Cuba'. "We've been waiting for this news forever and its finally happened. Castro has fallen."
The US State Department and the Office of Anti-Cuba and Anti-Castro Affairs, shared Nastro's glee. Juan Smastro, a member of the US Government's 'Destroy Cuba' sub-office put it this way, "We've passed legislation, put up barriers, and jailed all the Cubans we can just to stop Cuba and Castro from spreading their particular brand of evil. Now that he's fallen we'll seriously consider other more pointed measures."
What made the great leader fall? It turns out a strategically located misaligned step. Yes, the leader of all Cuba misjudged, not only world santions and United States efforts, but also the step. He then tumbled head over heals, breaking his knee cap and an arm. Who knew it would be that easy or simple to topple the burr in America's side.
Said Smastro, "Oh, you mean he actually fell? Hmm. When you said he'd fallen, I assumed we were at Defcon 5 and may have accidentally ordered Operation Bay of Pigs Mach II. Please excuse me." At that, Smastro, cell phone pressed to his ear, ran off down the hall frantically trying to address an immediate geo-political concern.
Will the news of Castro's fall change relations between Cuba and the US? Will America, sensing a neighbouring country in need, offer support and assistance in this, their time of desperation? If by 'assistance' you mean a well-timed and executed invasion or a strategically planned strike at the heart of Cuba, then the answer may be 'no'. If by assistance, you mean a new barrage of blockades, sanctions and restrictions, then the answer may be 'yes'. For Juan Smastro, it means calling off an expensive, inappropriate insurgency.
For Miguel Nastro it means thinking about what might have been had Castro truly fallen. "He's going to live, right?" asked Nastro meekly. "Hmm. The boys will not be happy to hear that. They will have to call off the party they planned. But, like we always have, we will wait. One day Castro will fall for good and then, after another leader takes over and runs Cuba for fifty more years, maybe then he'll fall, and then, perhaps, if we're not too tired or old or dead, we can bring Cuba in from the cold. Although, it's quite warm there and while some nights can be chilly, it's never really 'cold'."
At that, Nastro rambled off mumbling incoherently, but the sentiment was there. Cuba will one day be free of Castro and Castro-like leaders. When that day comes, Nastro and people like him, while they'll probably be dead, will smile, even if it's from heaven.
