In attempt to end a serious content shortage and renew interest in its showsESPN2 announced today that it will be airing an adventurous new programming lineup.
ESPN2 will launch a new ad campaign that captures the excitement and ferocity of extreme bingo.
“We couldn’t count on World Series Poker as our trump card day in and day out," said ESPN spokesperson Tracy Crinson. “After a few dozen re-airings, I think everyone and their mother knew that Chris Moneymaker wins the poker tournament.”
The network’s magic bullet comes in the form of a new director of programming, Rick Thompson, who discovered a way to convert the ratings slump into a golden opportunity.
The network’s new ad campaign, “What is Sport?”, is scheduled to air on cable channels nationwide Friday.
“Sport isn’t really a thing,” said Thompson. “It’s a state of mind. Sport is about the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. ”
The pioneer of ESPN2’s “new sport” lineup, BinGO Xtreme (M & Th, 5 pm E.T.) will provide exclusive bingo coverage from the Pleasant Meadow retirement facility in Miami Lakes, Florida.
Exciting skycam coverage of BinGO Xtreme, live from the Pleasant Meadow retirement home.
“Every Monday and Thursday evening, this place just reeks of life,” said Rita Simms, an employee at Pleasant Meadow. “and it’s not always friendly competition.”
Ruth Crabtree, 83, is the all time winningest player in the retirement home’s history. “I have a slump once in a while,” said Ms. Crabtree, “but generally I stomp these geezers so bad they have to leave to change their Depends."
Also airing is the exciting new reality series Tim’s World (M-F, 7 pm E.T.), which follows the life of Tim Gavin, 42, half-brother of NBA announcer Marv Albert.
“The story of a man living in almost complete obscurity – thinking someday he'll cash in on having a kind-of-famous half brother. I think a lot of Americans will be interested,” said producer Jeffrey Branovich.
Xtreme DDR (6 pm E.T.) caps off the lineup with daily coverage of the Dance Dance Revolution machine at the Funhouse Arcade in Norman, Ohio.
Local arcade buff Jake Phillips, 17, is thrilled about the upcoming series. “It’s gonna be so cool. No one believed me when I said I got 254,600 points on that thing. Now I get the chance to prove it on national TV.”
Bill Walton and Steve “Snapper” Jones will be on site to provide commentary and analysis. “Sure, these kids are total losers,” said Walton, “but would you rather watch five hours of sport fishing?”
