Director Russell Cagle, seen here working on camera repairs in his office.
Earlier this week we published a film review of Everything is Everything, a recent film distributed by First Look Rentals. Today we follow up our review with this, the first in our series of interviews with the persons featured in that fine work of cinematic brilliance.
Russell Cagle is an up-and-coming film director in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He's faced adversities ranging from budget shortfalls to bitchy girlfriends who don't like him stealing nickels from the piggy bank and nookie from the honey pot. Glossy News was fortunate enough to catch up with him earlier this week for this exclusive interview.
Mr. Cagle, you strike me as a filmmaker of uncommon candor, do you feel your honesty was betrayed by the makers of Everything is Everything?
I don’t know what “candor” is, but I hope that it means that I’m full of raw talent and diversity. Because I am. And you’re smart enough to see that, so that should tell you something. Speaking of honesty, those Studio 8 people don’t know how to party if a party bit them in the ass. I got drunk at the premiere and after-party of Everything is Everything, but other than that, there wasn’t nothing else to do. No drugs. No hookers. No nothing. [expletive]!
In the film, a betrayal of your compatriot Ron Rico is revealed. Has the fame and fortune you've earned from being in the film yet allowed you to repurchase his idol from the pawn shop?
The first thing I did when I got back from Washington, DC, was buy that son of a bitch’s precious Lord Mary idol and smash it to bits and pieces with my camera lens (the very same one that he cracked in DC)! I thought it would be a symbolic act and I also thought about filming it to show to him if he ever comes back to Baton Rouge, but my camera was broke by that point and it wouldn’t do much of a point anyways, I reckon. I don’t want him for a friend no more. I got too many as is.
What film or films are you currently working on?
I’m still trying to figure out what to do with myself and those two idiots, Justin [Justice] and Dale [Kernie]. I know there’s a good documentary to be done on them, even though the Studio 8 people tell me that their documentary already says enough about us. I don’t know. As soon as I can get some more money and figure out how to shoot a documentary about myself, I think that’s what I’m going to do. I’m also trying to watch more movies, but none of the movie stores in town will let me back inside, so once again, Russ gets [expletive] on for somebody else’s party.
Has the publicity earned from Everything is Everything, however mixed, helped forward your career? What new jobs or developments have come from it?
I still ain’t made it to Hollywood yet. Never even been invited, which don’t make much sense to anybody I talk to. I met a bunch more dumb bitches after the movie came out, some who I already knew, some who I didn’t. They don’t help me out too much, though. Especially my ex-bitch Melissa who took me to small claims court after she saw how I used her minivan in the movie. Almost went to jail for that. Other than that, my career is just as [expletive] as ever. You got a job for me?
Sorry, no. Your camera seemed pretty severely beaten over the course of the film, did it ultimately survive? Have you since acquired a new camera through movie advances, grants or theft?
I’m working on getting a new camera altogether, but for now I’m still digging through trash bins and dumpsters for parts for my old one. The lens is still busted, but I figured out that you can just clean out the glass and stretch Saran Wrap over the hole and it looks just as good…as long as you keep the Saran Wrap fresh and don’t let no holes get poked in it. What’s a movie grant?
Carey Grant, he was an actor. In the film you ran out of tape more than once due to budgetary constraints. Did the mock-you-documentarians ever so much as loan you a tape or otherwise do anything at all to assist you in your filmmaking?
What you seen at the end of the movie, where they helped me finish the Abe Lincoln documentary, that was the only help those [expletive]-heads ever gave to me. And even then, Dale and Justin messed up the audio (and video) from that piece of footage so the Abe Lincoln documentary is still unfinished until I can go back to Washington and shoot it all over again. I’ll tell you what I do need. I need a budget! You can’t make a budget out of nothing, you know? Maybe if I had a budget, I could budget out things like microphones and tapes and trips to Washington. But that ain’t the way the world works for me.
Well good thing there's always gambling. During the film we got to see you with several different women (all of them well beneath your means and good looks, I might add,) are any of them single that you might lend me perhaps a telephone number or home address?
Every single one of them is single! But that don’t mean that they won’t still try to marry you if you so much as stick your tallywacker in their cooter! You tell me whose name and number you want, and I’ll drive you there myself! The sooner I can get those bitches off my back, the sooner I can finish my projects in peace! [expletive]!
Perfect, well I'll direct my comments about that off the record when we're done here. Since the release of Everything is Everything I understand that PETA has been vocal about your intended treatment of sharks, as mentioned in the film. How do you react to those who suggest you are a shark-hating speciest?
I don’t know what you’re talking about, but if you mean that I hate sharks, then you’re wrong. I just talked about making a shark attack a helicopter FOR MOVIES – not in real life. Plus, I never said who would win the fight, the shark or the helicopter. Who do you think would win? I think it really matters whether it’s just some news helicopter or like an Apache Warhawk helicopter with machine guns. Also, it matters whether the shark is just a little puss nurse shark or whether it’s a grand white like Jaws.
Have you considered releasing your own film exposing the folly of Studio 8 in retaliation?
I wouldn’t make a movie about Studio 8 if you paid me to do it. Unless you were paying me a lot to do it, then I’d do it. I don’t want them to become famous or get anymore attention than I get. They’re my competition, you know? The whole time I was making a movie, they were making a movie about me and at the time I didn’t think about how much they were just using me as fuel for their fires. That ain’t honest, if you ask me.
How has not having a car or more than about ten bucks at any given time affected your filmmaking?
Hell yeah, it has! Still does! What the [expletive] kind of retarded question was that?
The question was how, but no matter. There are surely dozens of aspiring filmmakers in Baton Rouge, what advice can you offer to these young directors who haven't yet enjoyed the level of success that you have?
Success? What success have I enjoyed? I don’t care about those other film snobs and film nerds. I just make movies, ok? If you come up to me and want to start talking about YOUR movies and what YOU want, I’m going to get all bored and pissed off. I don’t have time to think about you or anybody else, for that matter. I have to focus on me and mine, you catch my draft? I ain’t talking to you no more if you’re going to act like that, man. You can forget this interview ever happened!
