 |
| My own brother Patrick, though a decided gatherer, is best exemplified by the way his trousers bunch uncomfortably. |
Despite my frequent monkeying around, I'm not a lesser evolved primate. I know that because I know art, but as much because humans didn't come from apes. It's not just that I'm more bald and less likely to wear a diaper, but because evolution takes more than 6,000 years, but either way, I know I'm more of a gatherer than a hunter, and Easter eggs veritably prove it.
There are those who may argue that the hunting, gathersome life of yore isn't relevant, but then again, there are those same folk who likewise suggest the Easter bunny isn't real. Plainly they are wrong, and we know this because Good Friday came and went, and a mere couple-mornings later, we had baskets of bunny chocolates waiting for us at sun-up just beyond our reach.
Let's put aside these conflicts of carnal notion versus obvious history (as dictated by infallible works such as the Bible) and focus instead on the here and now. Here is a bunch of eggs, and now I'm going to hunt them down to gather them in my basket.
As a dyed-in-the-wool combo hunter/gatherer, this is the two-fecta of doing what comes naturally, and when doing so yields me bounties of kitschy gadgets and chocolate to boot, I'm not going to be one to defy my very nature.
I hunt, I peck, and I gather, and if that leads to a basket full of candy-filled plastic eggs then that just proves that I'm doing something right.
Above - Though I couldn't see it at the time, it is entirely possible that here you can see fully sixteen of the Easter eggs lying about for us junior journalists to find. I might suggest this Easter Bunny fellow may wish to find better hiding places if he wishes to actually keep them hidden.
Above - Due to release waivers, or the conspicuous lack of us asking for them, we could only use pictures featuring us boys. Fortunately for us as much as you guys, this photo includes only (precisely) us Perplexing Times boys in full, egg-hunting glory.
