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Abu Dhabi: Chic New Middle East Torture Capital
By Rusty
May 17, 2009, 00:46
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Punching, mutilation and electro-genital shock made easy!
A human rights and wrongs group is calling on Abu Dhabi to take urgent action against the head of state's brother after video footage of him torturing a landless peasant appeared on YouTube.

The UK-based human rights group CuntWatch called for a full investigation into Sheikh Issa bin Zayed al-Nastygit over the footage and his disgusting treatment of a common peasant who allowed his herd of goats to block the road in front of the scumbag sheik.

Sheikh Well Before Using, spokesman for the UAE’s Ministry of Torture, confirmed that the 45-minute video featured Sheikh Issa, but said the issue had been resolved privately – with the peasant getting eaten by vultures.

The victim is seen being beaten with desiccated camel tails, given electric shocks up the jacksy with a cattle prod and run over by the sadistic sheikh’s 4 x 4 Chelsea Tractor.

A man in police uniform and several other ragheaded scallies are seen assisting the sheikh in the abuse, as the terrified victim is held down in the sand and repeatedly buggered.

However an Abu Dhabi police investigation found no breach of its rules in the incident as torture is a permitted practice in the morally-bankrupt barbaric sheikhdom – for offences ranging from shoplifting to parking on double yellow lines.

Western bleeding heart altruist types should remember that the current year in Jolly Jihad Islam Land is but 1430 – the Middle Ages. In 1430 AD the vindictive Vatican’s Catholic Inquisition was torturing heretics by the cartload - and anyone else who didn’t quite agree with their dogma and policies.

Hence, as our Arab Semite neighbours are a couple of steps back down the evolutionary ladder than their Caucasian contemporaries don’t expect anything better from Barbarism Central for another millennium or so.

In the YouTube footage an electric cattle prod is used on the private parts of the victim and rammed up his back passage.

The footage shows bullets being fired from an AK47 around the Sheikh’s peasant victim, Mohammed Poorcunt, as he lies tied up and screaming on the desert floor, then sand is shovelled into his mouth to shut him up as he is further beaten with a plank with a protruding nail, and has white phosphorous rubbed into his wounds.

At the end of the tape, Poorcunt is made to lie onto the ground and the sheikh drives over him repeatedly in his Chelsea Tractor - with the sound of what appears to be breaking bones audible on the tape’s soundtrack.

Human rights group CuntWatch described the violent and sadistic acts on the tape as ‘not very nice’ and a violation of the UAE's constitution and international law.

However, such brutish depravity obviously runs in the family.
In 2003, while on an official mision to Geneva, Issa’s brother Sheikh Falan bin Zayed bin Sultan al Nastygit while drunk and disorderly in true fundamentalist Muslim fashion, was arrested for an attempted sexual assault on an American bussinessman in a hotel bar.

Dr. Rupert Butterbutt, a proctologist from Bendover, New York, resisted Falah’s caresses, at which point the sheikh attacked him causing actual bodily harm by beating the hapless anal physician with a steel belt buckle for declining his inebriated sodomic advances.

Found guilty in a Swiss court of the offences Sheikh Falah was fined 10,000 Swiss francs. In addition he received a suspended penalty of 540,000 francs and was ordered to pay costs for the lawyers and the proceedings amounting to 2,879 Swiss francs plus compensation of 5,000,000 francs.

Butterbutt told reporters the sheik, whom he had never met, came up behind him then sat in his lap and tried to kiss and fondle him. When the American protested against the sheikh's aggressive homosexual advances the assault began.

Butterbutt’s lawyer, Sue Fleecem, opined to the Swiss court that the sheikh, coming from a long line of barbarians, "did not have sufficient education to understand he cannot whip other people like a dog."

However Abu Dhabi’s ruling Al Nastygit family is related to the House of Al-Falahi, a branch of the Bani Yas tribe – renown for their traditional barbarity and merciless atrocities dating back to the Crusades.

The current ruling Emir Khalifa bin Zayed bin Sultan al Nastygit is known for a fixation of torturing small furry mammals, a chronic rhubarb addiction, and being an avid fan of sports traditional to UAE - chiefly goat bonking and camel strangling. His personal stable of Circassian catamites is reputed to be the envy of every other ruling despot in the Gulf region.

The founding family patriarch Zayed bin Sultan al Nastygit, father of the current Emir, secured the dynasty’s ruling position by mercilessly eliminating
all competition to their declared ownership of the emirate’s oil reserves, and further claimed hereditary grazing rights on every hotel lobby carpet in the Persian Gulf region

Sheikh Zayed Nastygit fathered twelve sons – all of whom turned out to be big fat greasy unshaven slobs just like their mother – and too have obviously inherited her sadistic sense of cruel fun.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic.

Rusty appears courtesy of The Satire Stall.




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