FILE PHOTO OF DONALD TRUMP UNAVAILABLE: This visual approximation (taken from a police photo of a Muppet sodomizing a geriatric patient) was the closest approximation we could secure prior to print deadline.
Trump Tower, New York City, NY The Donald has done it again by trumping the networks out of yet another reality show. This time it is a totally political show about running for president and the winner gets to actually be President for a day.
Donald Trump announced that his new show tentatively titled "Big Bro 45" would be a cash cow for his production company with ratings going off the charts in all the big markets.
When asked what the show will be like, he said, "for that information I will defer to my daughter Ivanka who has all of the great things to tell you about. Ivanka, come up here."
The spotlight followed Ivanka Trump up the steps to the stage and she said "Hi, all. It's so good that you are here to learn about our new reality show Big Bro 45."
A power point screen appeared at her left side as she opened an envelope and said, "ethics, raising cash, lobbyists, caucus rooms – these are the plumbing tools of politics in America. Gay marriage, abortion, illegal immigration, Terror – these are the social issues that float about the plumbing. We have a show here that will merge all these things into one 12-week TV cycle and bring the joys of politics back to the American people in an easy-to-stomach campaign match. Please notice that some 'tools' are missing. Notably political advisors and teleprompters–everything will have to come directly from the politicos themselves."
She continued reading, while pointing powerfully at the screen, "Each week, teams of competitors will be assigned an issue that must be aligned with a plumbing tool and they will have only that hour to show a victory. Anyone who doesn't participate will be called into the boardroom and dealt with by my Firing Father."
"Suppose the issue is illegal immigration and the tool is ethics. Then the teams will each have to decide how to solve the issue of illegal immigration ethically. The fun here comes with the brilliant idea that each team is composed of one Republican and one Democrat. Get it? and they have only one hour to come to a mutual decision for their team's answer."
My dad likes to call this "Dealing the death wish."
Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, John Kerry, Al Gore, Mike Hucklebee, Sam Brownback, Ron Paul, Wisconsin & Tennessee Thompson, that Hunter guy from California, Mitt Romney and Tom Tancredo all were lined up behind Trump on the speaker's platform in the lobby of Trump Tower.
Donald had this to say when asked why the new show..."I feel that with the end of this 2008 election cycle, the American public will suddenly be without any politicians to chat with each other about. He continued, "there will be no more debates, no rallies, nothing left to discuss and endlessly rehash at the water coolers around the nation. I feel this is where my Big Bro 45 will quickly become the thing that everyone will embrace to fill up their spare time."
He continued, "Besides, we have some new sponsors who have shown an interest in this great political mashup. Debolt, MSNBC, The Fox Network and The RNC have all expressed interest in commercial time for their separate brands. Should be a good time for one and all. True family entertainment here, folks. Just imagine the voting opportunities each week. I think I will call AT&T myself tomorrow about their sponsorship."
