Fling Dong, the most famous adult entertainment star in North Korea, takes a break from her busy filming schedule to pose for photographers - one of whom graciously offered her a cracker.
North Korea has attracted attention recently with its test of a nuclear bomb and also test-firing its array of ballistic missiles. However, the beleaguered population there has paid scant attention to its government’s affronts. They are way too busy trying to gather the 500 calories needed to sustain life each day. Their plight can be traced to international food aid being intercepted and devoured by the goose-stepping, 1,000,000 man-strong military force.
Obesity is not such an endemic problem as in the West. Mere survival is.
The Great Leader is not completely oblivious to the "eating problem" plaguing his people. And he has instituted a policy to help ease the suffering. It is called toibee, a practice whereby citizens are encouraged to mix their own excrement with cigarette ashes to make fertilizer. This can be used to grow crops to supplement their customary diet of grubs and worms.
Sure, the ladies of North Korea look great when they're young and clothed, but just wait until they age and unrobe (see above).
Naturally this has attracted the attention of Hollywood stars eager to shed ounces in preparation for their next role or photo shoot. North Korean-style steady diets of nothing are now the norm. Stars pick a shred of lint from their dryers and will subsist on it for days on end. A single raisin will get them through the weekend. Hopefully a brisk Santa Ana wind won’t kick up and blow them all away.
To cater to their whims, entrepreneurs have opened North Korean restaurants alongside trendy Rodeo Drive boutiques. Diners are offered neither a menu nor a secluded table. They are handed a spade and assigned a plot of dirt in which they can root around for grubs and other lawn-pest delicacies. At the Great Leader Café, Nicole Ritchie was recently spotted on her knees digging along with her stick-figure pal Lindsey Lohan.
Reached for comment, SNL alum and still Senator-in-Exile Al Franken (D-Nowhere) mused that it is hilarious how such non-eating disorders as bulimia and anorexia are euphemistically referred to as "eating disorders."
