Tips for budget-conscious cougars
The current recession has had a negative impact on people from all walks of life, all around the globe. Although no one is immune to the crisis, few have suffered as much as those single, middle-aged women of the night we affectionately refer to as "Cougars".
Though it is unknown how long this downturn will last, the good news is that with a little extra time and creativity, these economically–challenged prowlers can rest assured, knowing they still have what it takes to reel in that raw, formerly pre- pubescent baggage-free meat.
Here are some tips for spinning a more budget-conscious web:
1) Instead of ordering a fancy drink, ask for a glass of water and an olive in a martini glass. This will present the overall appearance of having class, without causing a dent in your wallet. If you feel you need to kick things up a notch, top up the drink with a flask of vodka stashed in your purse.
2) Remember, it’s not the quality of make-up that makes the difference, it’s the quantity. Instead of using products like Lancome or Bobbi Brown sparingly, try caking on drugstore products such as Bonnie Bell or Wet n’ Wild. You may have to use more product, however the effect will be the same.
3) Rather than spending your hard earned money at Fredrick’s of Hollywood, try creating your own make-shift corset and hot pants. All it takes is a little imagination, and leopard-patterned material purchased in the discount section at Fanny’s Fabrics.
4) Keep in mind that in a dimly lit bar, leather and pleather look the same.
5) The quality of the clothing isn’t important, just so long as there is an abundance of cleavage and cameltoe on display.
6) Sell the house and invest in a SUV. Not only will it fulfill the potential prey's “soccer mom” fantasy, the back-seat can easily be transformed into a small, yet relatively comfortable bachelorette pad.
7) If you believe a cougar-worthy purse is what you need to resemble a more bona fide cradle robber, check on EBay for designer knock-offs. Most males in this stage of their life don’t know the difference, and if they do, there is a good chance they aren’t interested in the opposite sex anyway, regardless of your age.
Remember, it’s not the material goods that make a Cougar who she is, it’s all in her attitude and technique. After all, how often do you see an actual cougar from the wild on the cover of National Geographic, stalking its prey in Manolo Blahniks?
