Responding to Congressional chastisement for their failure to share pre-911 information about possible terrorist attacks, George Tennet and Robert Mueller, Directors of the CIA and the FBI, have decided to have their heads sewn together to enable smoother intelligence sharing between the two agencies. Both men plan to undergo the knife together as soon as mid-September, depending upon the amount of intelligence detected in each brain at the time.
Two heads, one mind. Circumcision, anyone?
George Tennet, who recently took blame for faulty Iraqi nuclear intelligence, elaborated on his and Mr. Mueller's decision.
"We never want another September 11th, no one wants another September 11th. So we've made this decision together and we hope that President Bush aggress to it. We feel our decision to join our skulls with guarantee that information received by one agency will pass easily to the other via our conjoined heads."
Dr. Irving Gladstone, of the Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York City, has been chosen to perform the surgery. He is a leading American specialist in severing the heads of conjoined Siamese twins.
"Basically, I am able to cut people's heads apart, which is incredibly dangerous because we never know exactly where the patients' brains are. But with these two, we know that their brains don't completely fill their skulls, so we've got lots of room for error. Should be a snap."
