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Last Updated: Sep 17th, 2009 - 22:50:02   

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Entertainment
Video Kid Struggles w/ Basic Shooting Principles
We all have our jobs to do around the Perplexing Times offices, and we all do them, time permitting, to the best of our ability. Well, maybe not the best of our abilities, but certainly to the best of our interest in doing so. This staff Videographer we hired, however, is really mooking up the works with his inattention to detail. The most basic principles, technically, include holding the camcorder in your hand, pressing the "record" button and pointing it in the right direction.

Sep 11, 2009, 00:13

Roadside Zoo Boasts Wide Assortment of... Wait, Roadside?
As you drive the Puerto Rican countryside, it's not uncommon to see a truck parked off the highway with a huge "Exotic Birds" sign, but the offering is almost zoo-like in variety. They boast chickens, ducks, rabbits, kittens, puppies, pigeons, ponies, land crabs of assorted colors, and even the big draw, exotic birds, but it's on the side of the road, so um, what gives? I know I'm new here, but this is a little weird.

Sep 3, 2009, 01:39

Somber Bomber Comedy Upsets Muslim Groups... Again
An online sitcom about a group of Islamic suicide bombers living in Bradford, Yorkshire could be more damaging than the real thing, according to the nihilistic ‘Allahu Akbar’ zealots group. Dr Abdul bin Bagg, of the Manky Muslim Association in Bradford, also claims the series ‘Living with the Infidels’ might upset some young hard-line Wahhabi fundamentalists – especially those belonging to the ultra-radical militant Jolly Jihad sect.

Sep 2, 2009, 07:55

TV Celebs Snuff Rivals to Boost Ratings
Police have accused the London-based Sky Crap Channel presenters of the TV show ‘Dos Scumbags’ of being principally involved in organised rhubarb trafficking and ordering gang-related killings to get rid of TV rivals on competing channels and boost their own show’s ratings. Wussell Bland and Jonathan Woss are both former rejects from the BBC’s slapstick ‘Tosspots Show’ and later ITV’s catastrophic ‘Dog Wankers’ series, in which Bland played the critically-condemned part of a toilet...

Aug 21, 2009, 07:13

Theme Restaurant Boasts Chicken, Fries, Playground, Pony Rides
Just off Highway-2 in the south of Puerto Rico (about twenty minutes west of Ponce) is the sort of restaurant you read about. I know I read about it on roadside signs in a good 30-mile radius, so when I had the chance to dine at Gaby's World, I jumped all over it and was rewarded in ways no restaurant has ever even tried. First thing was the restaurant, which is so good I've asked for it by name, and we go out there maybe once a week.

Aug 18, 2009, 09:39

Herbie the Love Bug Traded for 2009 Kia Rio
Reno, NV - The lovable Herbie The Love Bug VW Beetle was taken in as scrap this week at Bud Glow’s Rio Showcase Car Dealership in Reno, Nevada. The car’s owner, Delora Upswing, said the car was given to her as a present from a friend years ago and she just kept it locked up in the garage. As soon as she heard about the Cash for Clunkers program, she decided it was time to part ways with the little fellow and get herself a sporty new ride.

Aug 11, 2009, 15:14

Political Reality TV From Donald Trump
Trump Tower, New York City, NY The Donald has done it again by trumping the networks out of yet another reality show. This time it is a totally political show about running for president and the winner gets to actually be President for a day. Donald Trump announced that his new show tentatively titled "Big Bro 45" would be a cash cow for his production company with ratings going off the charts in all the big markets.

Jul 9, 2009, 04:41

Soulja Boy Yet to Register with Selective Service
ARLINGTON,VA--In an impromptu press conference held outside Arlington Headquarters, Ernest Garcia, Acting Director of the Selective Service, revealed that 19 year-old DeAndre Ramone Way, popularly known as Soulja Boy, has yet to register with the agency. "It is a well-known fact that all able-bodied males between the ages of 18 and 25 are required by law to register with the Selective Service," Garcia said.

Jun 30, 2009, 06:14

Is Top Gear's "The Stig" a Secret Tory MP?
To viewers of the Top Gear petrol-head show, he is the androgynous Transformer : part Man / part Cyberdork - whose arteries course with low-cholesterol STD oil additives. But the true substance of “The Stig”, the BBC motoring programme’s reclusive Mystery-Bot racing driver, was revealed yesterday to be somewhat more prosaic.

Jun 26, 2009, 00:37

Laura Bush's New Book: "Pleasures of Masturbation"
Chicago - Laura Bush today announced the publication of her second book entitled The Pleasures of Masturbation. Appearing on the Oprah Winfrey show in Chicago, Mrs. Bush revealed to the audience of mostly women, her latest publication. Mrs. Bush's new book is decidedly geared towards a different market than her previous endeavor. In April of this year Mrs. Bush and her daughter Jenna authored a children's book called ‘Read All About It!"

Jun 22, 2009, 19:53

Celeb Chef Ramsay Says "So F'ing Sorry"
Celebrity foul-mouthed chef Gordon Ramsay, who possesses a Master’s degree in Profanity, apologized following a major Numpty Dumpty row with an Australian TV host because his mother told him “If yer don’t say ‘sorry’ to the stupid dingbat cow I’ll stop yer pocket money an’ I want me trifle and scones recipes back.” The blaspheming TV chef was branded a 'pommie scumbag' by none other than Australia’s chief scumbag himself...

Jun 22, 2009, 03:18

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